Subject: Growing OLD GRACEFULLY


Growing OLD GRACEFULLY



A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of
water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,



"I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.."



The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In
fact, this one is on me."



As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to
buy you a drink, too."



The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of
water."



"Coming up," says the bartender.



As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you
one, too."



The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two
drops of water."



"Coming right up," the bartender says.



As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the
Scotch with only two drops of water?"



The old woman replies,



"Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding
your water, however, is a whole other issue."



"OLD" IS WHEN .. Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you
answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!"



"OLD " IS WHEN ... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and
you're barefoot.



"OLD" IS WHEN ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the
garage door.



"OLD" IS WHEN ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.



"OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you
don't have to go along.



"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by
the police.



"OLD" IS WHEN ..."Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any
fiber today


"OLD" IS WHEN ... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.



"OLD" IS WHEN ... An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.

AND

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You are not sure these are jokes.

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