I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS...
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman
wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't
place where he knows her from. So he says, Do you Know me? To
which she replies, I think your the father of
Teacher: Good morning children, today is Thursday,so we're going to have a
general knowledge quiz. The pupil who gets the answer right can have Friday
and Monday off and not come back to school until Tuesday.
Wee Jocky thinks, Yadancer. Ah'm pure dead brilliant at ma general
knowledge stuff.
Subject: These are quite funny
Subject: Top Ten He Said She Said
10) He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing
to put in it. She said...You wear pants, don't you?
9) She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.
8)
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own
pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with Guess on it. So I said,
Implants? She hit me.
4. I don't do drugs. At my age I get the same effect
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their
wedding night, she told her new husband, Please be gentle, I'm still a
virgin. What? said the puzzled groom. How can that be if you've been
married ten times?
Well, Husband #1 was a sales
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her
tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a
gentlemen neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red
tomatoes.
The woman asked the gentlemen, What do you do to get your tomatoes
red?
A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. You
know
what?, says the 7 year old, I think it's about time we started
swearing.
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
When we go
downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you swear after me, OK?
The 4 year old
