well it's really Wednesday morning smiles, no 9 does it for me

jenny barron

Scotland

 

 

 

 HOME REMEDIES...
 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of 
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost 
instantly removed.


 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by  getting someone 
else to hold them while you chop away.


 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using 
the sink.


 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, 
thus reducing the pressure in your veins.


 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent  you from 
rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.


 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then  you will be 
afraid to
 cough.


7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you  will forget 
about the tooth ache..

 

 8. AND... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are:


 9. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it 
should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.


10. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!


12. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends.

 You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

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