Driving Along ============= A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?" "Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family." Darwin Award Candidates ======================= "The stupidity of the human race never fails to surprise me." --Charles Darwin (22 February 2000, New York) A man clearing timber from his lot in Chestnuthill Township failed to notice that the tree he was working on had others leaning against it. When the weight of its neighbors pushed the tree over in the expected direction, the erstwhile lumberjack ran for his life, but slipped in the icy snow and fell directly in the path of the looming trunk, which landed on him with the expected result. (1 January 2000, Nevada) 26-year-old Tod made a place for himself in history by being the first person to die celebrating the millennium. Minutes before midnight, the Stanford graduate climbed to the top of a street light in front of the Paris Las Vegas Hotel and waved to the enthusiastic revelers below. At midnight he slipped and, in an effort to break his fall, grabbed the wires that were supplying the electricity to the street light. Suddenly he was conducting more than a cheering crowd. A camera caught his foolhardy climb and subsequent headfirst plunge to the concrete below. It has not yet been determined whether he died from electrocution or from the 30-foot fall, but either way, he deserves the first Darwin Award of the new millennium! Footnote: Tod was a Stanford graduate working at a Silicon Valley startup scheduled to go public in the summer. He stood to make a substantial profit with his options, until they were voided by his untimely death. Clearly, a sterling academic pedigree is no indication of common sense. Before leaving to Vegas, one friend said, "People are going to be doing crazy things. Be careful." Tod replied, "You know I won't." Friends pondering his death said, "He thought he was invincible." "He used to climb the Golden Gate Bridge." "He would never do something stupid." (11 March 2000, Perth, Australia) It just stands to reason, one should follow safe practices while filming a safety video. But Peter, the 52-year-old owner of a machinery and equipment training school, violated that rule of common sense while filming a forklift safety demonstration. With the cameras rolling, he was thrown from the cabin of his forklift and crushed. Subsequent investigation revealed the culprits responsible for the fatality: driver error and high speed over varied terrain, coupled with an unused seat belt. His final safety demonstration was the most convincing of his career. March 24 in History . . . * 1898 - 1st automobile sold * 1958 - Elvis Presley joins the army (serial number 53310761) -- John H. Hoffmann Personal E-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] "Be careful what you pretend to be, because in the end, you are what you pretend to be." -- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe from this list, send e-mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] and put "unsubscribe MAPINFO-L" in the message body, or contact [EMAIL PROTECTED]