Actual Newspaper Headlines (we can only assume!) 1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted 4. Farmer Bill Dies in House 5. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? 6. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands 7. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms 8. Eye Drops off Shelf 9. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids 10. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead 11. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim 12. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told 13. Miners Refuse to Work after Death 14. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 15. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies 16. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter 17. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years 18. War Dims Hope for Peace 19. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While 20. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 21. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide 22. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge 23. Deer Kill 17,000 24. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 25. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 26. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire 27. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood 28. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 29. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies 30. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing 31. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing 32. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors 33. Include your Children When Baking Cookies 34. 4-H Girls Win Prizes for Fat Calves