We may yet avert a border war!

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Kim Jong Un Offers to Host Peace Talks Between United States and Canada
<https://www.newyorker.com/contributors/andy-borowitz>

By Andy Borowitz <https://www.newyorker.com/contributors/andy-borowitz>

11:13 A.M.
Photograph by Inter-Korean Summit Press Corps / Getty

SINGAPORE (The Borowitz Report
<https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report>)—One day before his
summit with Donald J. Trump, the North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un, has
offered to host peace talks between the United States and Canada.

Speaking to reporters at his hotel in Singapore, Kim said that the rising
tensions between the North American neighbors were posing an “intolerable
threat to world peace.”

In addition to offering to host U.S.-Canada talks in Pyongyang, Kim urged
the immediate creation of a demilitarized zone along the border separating
the two hostile nations.

“In exchange for Canadian Mounties agreeing to stand down on their side of
the border, the United States, in turn, would dismantle its nuclear
weapons,” Kim said.

Although stating that “North Korea stands ready and willing to be an honest
broker” in peace talks between the two countries, he urged Trump to dial
back the “inflammatory rhetoric” that he aimed at Canadians over the
weekend.

“Violent language and threats have no place in international diplomacy,”
Kim said.
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