I have been tasked by my company to compare system monitoring tools. We are a
small Java software development shop. Our product runs on several servers
(Windows or Unix) at each of our clients, and has a web front end, file system
storage, and database (PostgreSQL, Oracle, or MS SQL Server).
I actually have a very similar problem, and wrote some software to solve
it. I am a consultant, and want to proactively monitor my customer's
systems for all kinds of performance problems. Like your situation, my
monitoring requires access to private data that is not published outside
the