Excellent
On 11 February 2013 16:24, Rog & Rita <rognr...@exemail.com.au> wrote: > ** ** > > **** > > *I went to a Tesco café yesterday and ordered a burger. They asked me if > I wanted anything on it, and I said: ‘Yes — a fiver each way.’ > > Does anyone have a tooth pick? I had a Tesco burger last night and there’s > still a bit between my teeth.***** > > * > **I’ve got some Tesco burgers in the fridge. But** **.** **.** **.** **THEY’RE > OFFFFFFFFF! > > My doctor told me to watch what I eat, so I went out and bought tickets > for the Grand National. > > ** > **Scientist: ‘Sir, we’ve discovered horse meat in your burgers.’ > Tesco boss: ‘Why the long face?’ > > I won’t eat Tesco burgers. They may be low in fat, but they have a very > high Shergar content. > > Tesco are giving treble points on your Club card for all burgers and > petrol, starting today. The deal’s called Only Fuel and Horses. > > What do you call a burnt Tesco burger? Black Beauty.***** > > * > **A motorist gets pulled over by a police officer, who asks him to blow > into a breathalyser. The machine beeps. > ‘I’m sorry Sir,’ says the officer. ‘You’re over the limit. Can you tell me > what you have had tonight?’ > ‘Nothing Officer,’ replies the man. ‘Just a burger from Tesco.’ > ‘That explains it,’ says the policeman. ‘I knew I could smell Red Rum.’ > > They’ve found horse meat in Tesco burgers? It’s an unbridled disaster. > > A Tesco burger walks into a bar. ‘A pint please.’ > ‘I can’t hear you,’ says the barman. > ‘Sorry’ replies the burger. ‘I’m a little bit horse.’ > > I selected some burgers on the Tesco website. And then clicked ‘Add to > cart.’ > > A woman has been taken to hospital after eating Tesco burgers. Her > condition is said to be stable. > > I used to work on the Tesco meat counter, I hated it, it was like flogging > a dead horse. > > Last night I ate a Tesco burger, an Iceland burger and an Aldi burger to > find out which had the best taste. > Tesco won by a short head. > > I think someone may be sending me death threats. I woke up this morning > with a Tesco burger in my bed. > > Have you heard? Now traces of zebra have been found in Tesco barcodes.**** > * > > *I bought an‘award-winning’ Tesco burger. I didn’t realise they meant it > had won the Cheltenham Gold Cup. > > I used to work for Tesco, but I was fired. I got an email about a delivery > of horse meat and I marked it as spam. > > Horse meat in Tesco burgers? What are the odds on that? > > I tried to take some burgers back to Tesco but they said they wouldn’t > accept them. Looks like I’m saddled with them. > > Husband: ‘I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.’ > Wife: ‘Why don’t you go to Tesco?’ > > Personally, I think people who don’t like eating horse meat are being a > bit blinkered. > > Despite the recent news, Tesco says that their beef burger sales remain > stable. > > Are you in favour of horse meat in your burgers? Yay or Neigh? > > I won’t be switching to Tesco Finest burgers. They’re so expensive that > buying enough for a big family dinner won’t leave you much change from a > pony. > ** > **I was going to give up fast food for January, but I fell at the final > hurdle and had a Tesco burger. > > Unused HMV vouchers are now being accepted at Tesco. Just tell them HMV > means‘Horse Meat Voucher’. > > Despite the recent scandal, Tesco insist they use only meat of the highest > quality. A spokesman said: ‘Our meat has to clear several hurdles before it > goes on sale.’***** > > * > I don’t know why there’s a fuss all of a sudden. There’s been horse meat > in Tesco burgers for donkey’s years. > > I like my burgers with a side saddle and neighonnaise. > > I hope Tesco were selling those burgers at hoof price. > > So there’s horse meat in Tesco’s burgers. Don’t worry, it’s not the mane > ingredient. > > Forget the Everyday Value burgers — I only eat those mini-burgers you have > as snacks. You know, the horse d’oeuvres. > > I bought some Tesco burgers — I wanted to get venison ones, but they were > dead dear.***** > > *Tesco would’ve got away with it if it wasn’t for the DN Neigh test.***** > > -- > Boo! Thick Mick-lite Out! > --- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "NSWolves" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to nswolves+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. > For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out. > > > -- Boo! Thick Mick-lite Out! --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "NSWolves" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to nswolves+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.
