Thank you, authors. Would you send a synopsis of the changes to the list as well as what you feel is left to do? It would be good to spur some more discussion on this.
I read through the text, focusing on the changes, and found a few typos and nits. Section 1: OLD: The normative description of Legacy features such as ARAP and outbound authentication have NEW: The normative description of Legacy features such as ARAP and outbound authentication has === Section 1: s/authroization/authorization/ === Section 3.3 You have one reference to "Single connection Mode". Why is the 'c' lowercase here? For consistency, it should be uppercase. === Section 3.4 OLD: For example, the client try alternative methods, if they are available, NEW: For example, the client tries alternative methods, if they are available, === Section 3.4 s/implmentation/implementation/ === Section 3.5 OLD: . for example NEW: . For example === Section 3.7 OLD: refer to section section NEW: refer to section === Section 4.1 You refer to the Unix su(1) command in man page style notation. This may not be fully understood by all readers. I think it would be better to describe what su does in a short phrase (This is comparable to the "su" command on Unix, which substitutes the current user's identity with another). === Section 4.4.2.3 s/alays/always/ === Sections 4.4.2.4 and 4.4.2.5 OLD: The TACACS+ server must rejects NEW: The TACACS+ server must reject === Section 4.4.3 s/temrination/termination/ === Section 4.4.3 You say, "oplease refer to section" (which has a typo). But I don't think you need the please at all here. === Section 5 s/clients actions/client's actions/ === Section 5.1 s/corrsponds/corresponds/ === Section 7.1 Stardate is canonically inconsistent :-) === Section 7.2 Under nohangup, I think you have a typo with "authorization.y." Not sure if you intended something else there, or that "y." just crept in. === Section 8 s/()such as/(such as/ === Section 8 s/starts starts/starts/ === Section 8 s/reuthentication/reauthentication/ === Section 8 You mention su again, but do so without man page notation. you also refer to unix instead of Unix. Perhaps a good solution is to point to one of the web=based man page gateways to create a true xref for su. === Section 9.1 s/For this reasons/For these reasons/ === Section 9.2 s/which may me/which may be/ === Section 9.5 s/apropriate/appropriate/ === Section 9.5 s/send send secret keys/send secret keys/ Joe On 2/19/18 10:40, internet-dra...@ietf.org wrote: > > A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts > directories. > This draft is a work item of the Operations and Management Area Working Group > WG of the IETF. > > Title : The TACACS+ Protocol > Authors : Thorsten Dahm > Andrej Ota > Douglas C. Medway Gash > David Carrel > Lol Grant > Filename : draft-ietf-opsawg-tacacs-08.txt > Pages : 43 > Date : 2018-02-19 > > Abstract: > TACACS+ provides Device Administration for routers, network access > servers and other networked computing devices via one or more > centralized servers. This document describes the protocol that is > used by TACACS+. > > > The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is: > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-opsawg-tacacs/ > > There are also htmlized versions available at: > https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-opsawg-tacacs-08 > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-opsawg-tacacs-08 > > A diff from the previous version is available at: > https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-opsawg-tacacs-08 > > > Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of submission > until the htmlized version and diff are available at tools.ietf.org. > > Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at: > ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/ > > _______________________________________________ > OPSAWG mailing list > OPSAWG@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/opsawg > _______________________________________________ OPSAWG mailing list OPSAWG@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/opsawg
