The pregnancy panic attack
What don't moms-to-be have to worry about these days?
Kim Carney / MSNBC.com
A few years ago when I was blissfully naive about such things as the
one-hour post-glucose check or a Britax car seat, I also was clueless about
the level of anxiety lurking in the hearts and minds of pregnant women. Of
course, it only took two little pink lines on the home pregnancy test and,
like magic, Id joined the sisterhood. That is, Our Sisters of the Anxious
Pregnancy.
Check out any pregnancy chat room and youll immediately get what Im
talking about. Moms-to-be including me when I was expecting seem to
worry about everything. And how can they help it? Impetus for anxiety
abounds.
I couldnt walk into my doctors office and pick up a magazine without
reading the bad news that awaited my unborn child and me. Words like
ectopic pregnancy, blighted ovum, gestational diabetes and, of course,
the most dreaded word of all miscarriage popped out at me from magazines.
Amniocentesis had barely entered my vocabulary before I was informed by a
(well-meaning, Im sure) woman about the hazards of having one no, not the
fear of that long needle that everyone else talks about; she was referring
to the risk of miscarriage due to having an invasive test. (The risk, I was
later informed by my doctor, is less than minuscule. Theres something like
a .03 percent chance that anything negative could happen.)
As a pregnant woman, I was astonished that I couldnt have a symptom or,
more seriously, not have a symptom before someone would inform me that it
was ominous. I didnt have morning sickness. Yes, I admit it. And I have a
healthy 21-month-old son who is right this minute escaping the clutches of
his father to pound on Mommys office door.
Yet, when I was several months pregnant and told a woman who I was
interviewing for a story that I had no hyperemesis gravidarum, she lowered
her voice and said, Oh, please tell me you were maybe a little queasy a few
times. She was suggesting there was something wrong if I wasnt sick!
So I did what any sane person would do: I lied to get her off my back. I
just wanted her to stop freaking me out. The minute I hung up the phone I
started calling recently pregnant friends and Googling morning sickness
and hyperemesis gravidarum. After some Medline research and a few phone
conversations, I learned that roughly half of pregnant women have some
morning sickness and half dont. In some cultures, a word for the condition
doesnt even exist.
So either I was a displaced native of the Republic of Seychelles or I was
just one of those 50 percent who didnt get sick. The point is there was
nothing wrong with me just because I didnt have morning sickness but I
spent a couple of sleepless nights worrying about it.
When I brought my concerns to my Los Angeles obstetrician, Dr. Stuart
Fischbein, he told me how frustrated hed become. In the last decade or so
maybe because of the increasingly litigious nature of our country with the
various alarming consent and disclaimer forms now required in medical
practices, the government warnings on everything from gas pumps to public
buildings, all the new tests that are often helpful but also scare women
silly and the increased access to sometimes dubious medical information or
reports, pregnancy anxiety has drastically escalated.
It has become so bad, according to Fischbein, that he spends half his day
not practicing medicine but simply calming fears. As I spoke with more
doctors, midwives and birthing educators, I was repeatedly told the same
thing. Perhaps the profession closest to the subject of maternal anxiety,
however, is the doula.
Officially, doulas are professionals who provide emotional, physical and
informational support and advocacy to women and families before, during and
immediately after birth. But Ann Grauer, president of DONA International, an
association representing doulas, has a more interesting definition for them:
birthing Sherpas. When you hire a doula we cant have the baby for you but
were with you every step of the way, explains Grauer.
The doulas primary role is to give pregnant women confidence and do
whatever she can to decrease their anxiety. As pregnancy anxiety in our
society grows, says Grauer, so does the demand and need for doulas. (To wit,
in 1994, DONA had 750 members. Today the organization has 5,718 members).
Within the last five years even Ive seen pregnancy fear grow to
unbelievable proportions, says Grauer, who has been a birthing instructor
and doula for 16 years.
Women come to Grauer and her colleagues concerned about everything from
symptoms, environmental toxins, tests and possible miscarriages to birth
defects, diet, giving birth and more. In her opinion, the very worst
contribution to pregnancy anxiety are some reality TV shows.
The television programs ... show a birth and they say something like Will
Megan and her baby survive? Well find out right after this commercial!
They create a lot of anxiety because they give women the impression that
were all high-risk and the truth is that the vast majority of us are
incredibly low-risk, says Grauer. Those TV programs, some pregnancy books
and magazines, as well as Web sites and blogs offering opinions disguised as
fact seem to play on the pervasive societal fear that already exists, Grauer
says.
After I spoke with a pregnant woman who told me she threw one pregnancy book
across the room in disgust because it was filled with worst-case scenarios
and instructions to walk on eggshells (not literally, of course; Im sure
that would present some kind of risk of transdermal food poisoning), I
started researching a book of my own.
I learned that despite the risky tests, the possible perils of filling
your car with gas or eating canned tuna, the recklessness of drinking a
caffeinated beverage or taking an aspirin, the odds were overwhelmingly in a
pregnant womans favor that around 40 weeks or so from conception, one way
or another and mostly regardless of what she had or hadnt done, the average
pregnant woman would deliver a baby and that baby would be just swell.
I also discovered that once you saw the fetal heartbeat via an early
ultrasound when you were around six weeks pregnant, your chances of
miscarrying drop to just 2 percent. And that the majority of women, without
killing themselves with exercise or crash dieting, are back to their
pre-pregnancy weight (or at least within a few pounds of it) by the time
their children celebrate their first birthdays.
But, truly, as much as it hurts for a writer to admit this, you dont need a
lot of books to calm your anxiety about pregnancy. Women who have newly
passed over to the mommy side actually tell it best.
I recently spoke with one such woman who had lots of fears during her
pregnancy everything from weight gain, testing, whether shed get varicose
veins, you name it.
Now that shes a mom, this is what she told me: Most of what I worried
about during pregnancy was stuff I dreamed up but never even happened or
if it did it wasnt even a big deal. Now that I have my daughter, I think,
what was I so worried about!? Look at her. Shes a miracle just like all
the other kids at the park or mall or Gymboree class.
Amen, Sister. Or rather: Amen, Mother.
Victoria Clayton is a freelance writer based in California and co-author of
"Fearless Pregnancy: Wisdom and Reassurance from a Doctor, a Midwife and a
Mom," published by Fair Winds Press
Tips for a less anxious pregnancy
Select a medical team you agree with. Some women only feel comfortable
with an ob-gyn while some prefer a nurse-midwife. Others hire doulas as a
sort of personal assistant in the pregnancy and birthing process. Research
your options (including birth options). Most importantly, make sure you feel
that you can ask questions of your medical practitioner and get them
answered satisfactorily.
Get an early ultrasound and, subsequently, whatever testing will make you
feel calmer. An ultrasound around six weeks is the most accurate way to date
a pregnancy plus it allows you to see the babys heartbeat, which is
reassuring. Later, a number of tests will be available. None of them even
the invasive ones such as CVS or amniocentesis carry much risk, but
knowing the results may be a way to gain further peace of mind.
Eat, drink and be yourself (for the most part). Five small meals a day
keep blood sugar stable and eating a variety of foods helps ensure you and
the baby get a full complement of nutrients. But don't obsess over what you
eat or drink. The average womans diet, while probably not nutritionally
perfect, provides far and away enough nutrients for a healthy baby
especially if youre supplementing with a prenatal vitamin. And while it's
advisable to avoid caffeine and alcohol, don't panic if you have an
occasional cup of coffee or a Pepsi. Overall, just be you. Whatever you do
when youre not pregnant save for drugs, alcohol and risky sports you
can do when youre pregnant unless otherwise advised by your practitioner.
Leanne Wynne
Midwife in charge of "Women's Business"
Mildura Aboriginal Health Service Mob 0418 371862
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