Dear Mr Cohen,
I just found out about your company's exciting new Hygiene Guard{tm}
system through the admittedly somewhat biased means reproduced below.
Gosh, I certainly hope that you don't offend against common sense in
your spare time by worrying about a fascist takeover of this country.
I suggest that you develop a product variant called Olive Guard for the
Israeli government, which for the past decade has apparently believed
that nothing is quite so dangerous as an olive grove, and whose
bulldozers have acted accordingly.
Yours for better living through consciousness,
valis
Occupied America
[...]
>>AMERICAN NEWSPEAK. Inflicted weekly at http://www.scn.org/news/newspeak
>>Celebrating cutting edge advances in the exciting field of Doublespeak!
>>Written by Wayne Grytting
[...]
>>Big Brother Comes to the Washroom
>>
>>Corporations can now insure their employees have clean hands thanks to an
>>invention called Hygiene Guard. For a mere $1,500, Hygiene Guard can be
>>installed in any washroom. Employees need only wear a small badge. When
>>they enter the restroom an infared sensor is triggered. A second sensor at
>>the washstand is triggered if the employee stands in front of it for at
>>least 15 seconds. This information is then relayed to a computer. Failure
>>to use the soap dispenser causes the badge to blink, alerting all to the
>>unhygenic condition. NetTech International says this system will alert
>>employers to "miscreants who don't enter the lavatory all day or use it
>>too much." Obviously this is just the beginning. The mind reels at the
>>possibilities, like monitoring coffee consumption or the use of toilet
>>tissues. NetTech CEO Glenn Cohen defends their invention on public health
>>grounds, actually declaring, "Our belief is its time for Big Brother to be
>>concerned." Well, he is. (WSJ 5/20, AP 5/20)
