The Capitol Steps' hilarious lampoon of Bob Dole's subject-object problem
fails to seek a clear basis for this bizarre choice of expression.
Only those who have lived their lives in the Senate chamber or in Kansas
have any idea whether or not it is vintage Dole for this man to hold
himself at the end of a verbal 10-foot pole; the rest of us are left to
our own wild imaginings.
A theory: Bob Dole is doing the wrong thing and he knows it; forcing
himself to ceaselessly project throughout a vast, un-Kansan society,
devoid of the communication skills Reagan brought to a similar fray,
he must grease the valves and pulleys of both body and mind with...
well, with copious caffeine at very least, but who knows what more?
Washington's pharmacopoeia, like Wall Street's and Hollywood's,
is indulged in only for the betterment of the popular lot, therefore
it would be petty and counterproductive of me to couch an accusation
in the harsh terms familiar to all busted teenagers and hitchhikers.
What's that, Bob? Now it's 96 non-stop hours just to save miserable us?
Well, you might do that with laughter alone, Bob. We'll be waiting for
verbal gargoyles and non sequiturs yet unheard in the American hustings.
valis
Occupied America
War should be a sport for men above forty-five only, the Jesses,
not the Davids. "Well, dear father, how proud I am of you serving
your country as a very gallant gentleman prepared to make even
the supreme sacrifice! I only wish I were your age: how willingly
I would buckle on my armour and fight those unspeakable Philistines!
As it is, of course, I can't be spared; I have to stay behind at the
War Office and administrate for you lucky old men. What sacrifices
I have made!" David would sigh, when the old boys had gone off with
with a draft to the front, singing Tipperary: "There's father and
my Uncle Salmon, and both my grandfathers, all on active service.
I must put a card in the window about it."
- Robert Graves, in Chapter 23 of "Goodbye To All That,"
after spending his 19th and 20th years in the trenches
of northern France.
