©¿©<--------- http://www.paulsfunhouse.com --------->©¿© and ©¿©<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->©¿© presents
<---------------------PHWeekly Joke Ezine!---------------------> <-------The Little Sister Of Purehumour Joke Ezine------> PHWeekly (aka Purehumour Weekly) is now residing at the home of Paul's Fun House (http://www.paulsfunhouse.com) PHWeekly features the BEST Adult humour on the net...in the unlikely event that you no long wish to be a subscriber... please see the bottom of this mailing to unsubscribe. *please note...all replies to this ezine are discarded without being read...for contact info...please see the bottom of this mailing also. Oh man...what is the world coming to? Seems that good old Dick Cheney is taking the reins for a few hours as Bush under- goes some medical tests....think about this people...you have a guy with a major heart condition in control of the most power- ful weapons in the world....oh joy! Starting next week a brand new feature will be added to Purehumour and PHWeekly....but you have to stay tuned to find out what! ;) And coming soon...your chance to win a personally autographed copy of a brand new book that is in the final stages of publication... once again...stay tuned for more details in the weeks to come! Today's issue includes contributions by: SunAmy, Pat, Cathy, Stan, Wayne, Rubin, Ken, Gary. If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Jokes</a> ©¿©-------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------©¿© Lets start with a quickie: How do you circumcise a whale? You send down four-skin divers. ©¿©--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------©¿© Getting Drained... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1034 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1034 Too good a job... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1033 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1033 ©¿©------------------------SPONSOR---------------------------------©¿© Today's issue is brought to you by: The MOST UNIQUE CONTEST IN THE WORLD! Open to residents of the USA and Canada... ******* WIN FREE TOILET PAPER ******* YES you can WIN Free Toilet Paper...get a 24 roll pack of toilet paper right to your door when you WIN the most unique contest in the world! FREE and SIMPLE to enter...check out the link below: <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/25.html ">Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/25.html ©¿©--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------©¿© A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: "A baby brother." "Daddy and I would like to give you a baby brother," said her mom, "but there isn't time before your birthday." "Why don't you do like they do down at Daddy's factory when they want something in a hurry?" "Put more men on the job." ©¿©--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------©¿© LIKE MY LIST? Why not give us a vote or recommend us to a friend? Vote Now : <a href=" http://www.fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.30.0 ">Vote for Me!</a> ©¿©------------------------GUS COOKS!------------------------------©¿© Gus really gets cooking...a new strip each day! <a href="http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php";>Click</a> http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php ©¿©--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------©¿© My neighbor found out her dog, a brown schnazer, could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in its ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from re-occurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub in the schnauzer's ears once a month. The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At the register the druggist tells her "If you're going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days." The lady says "I'm not using it under my arms." The druggist says "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a couple of days." The lady says "I'm not using it on my legs either and if you must know I'm using it on my schnauzer." The druggist says "OK, but stay off your bicycle for at least a week." ©¿©----------------------PUREHUMOUR POLL--------------------©¿© How fast can you make it? Check it out <a href=" http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ">Poll</a> http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/ ©¿©-----------------------QUICK QUOTE----------------------------©¿© I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. -Walt Disney ©¿©--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------©¿© Poor Pay... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1032 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1032 Wise kid... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1031 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1031 ©¿©--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------©¿© Actual Excuses Written By Kool Parents . . . 1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. 2. Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault. 3. Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side. 4. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face. 5. Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor. 6. Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over. 7. My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him. 8. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part. 9. Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip. 10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. 11. Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night. 12. Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating. 13. George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach. 14. Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout. 15. Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals. 16. Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. ©¿©-------------------------A DOG'S WORLD------------------------©¿© A Dog's World is a continuing story that will appear in each issue...miss a segment?...then check out the archives at: http://www.escribe.com/humor/pj Sam, not knowing what else to do, began hum. Not any song in particular, just began humming in attempt to break the silence. Less than a minute later another dog joined in. To lone hums coming from underneath the pile of broken wood and glass. Before they knew it all six dogs were humming and the random sounds were now a group hum of "Home on the Range." The dogs went on to hum other songs. Old standards, TV jingles anything they could think of. No one said a word, one dog would start and the other would join in. During the songs the dogs began to giggle. The giggles were contagious and soon came eruptions of loud laughter. After laughing their way through "Brown Eyed Girl" one dog began humming "Amazing Grace." The laughter stopped as the other dogs hummed along. Sam hummed and tears began to well up in his eyes. He still didn't know what had happened outside but this song confirmed for him that the other dogs also though like he did; the world had indeed come to an end. Copyright 2001-02 D. Scott Check out more at: http://www.humorcorner.com ©¿©--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------©¿© I Always Tell My Husband I Love Him <a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/24.htm ">Click</a> http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/24.htm Advice From Jill <a href=" http://ugrin.paulsfunhouse.com/phw9.html ">Click</a> http://ugrin.paulsfunhouse.com/phw9.html My Husband Died <a href=" http://humorcorner.com/dmp/died.html ">Click</a> http://humorcorner.com/dmp/died.html Priceless Beers <a href=" http://judysjokes.com/atoons/jj/06010201.html ">Click</a> http://judysjokes.com/atoons/jj/06010201.html Julia Forgot To Brush Daily <a href=" http://www.aikenslaughs.com/1/28.html ">Click</a> http://www.aikenslaughs.com/1/28.html Can You Explain How This Works <a href=" http://roseys.net/jillsprog7.htm ">Click</a> http://roseys.net/jillsprog7.htm Out of Work Pornstar <a href=" http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-06e.html ">Click</a> http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-06e.html Men Dont Need Instructions <a href=" http://www.aikenslaughs.com/1/23.html ">Click</a> http://www.aikenslaughs.com/1/23.html Osamanator <a href=" http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-06d.html ">Click</a> http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-06d.html ©¿©--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------©¿© A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Greg consistently caught more fish than anyone else. Whereas the other guys would only catch three or four fish a day, Greg would come in from the lake with a boat full of fish. Stringer after stringer was packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Greg his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe. So the next morning, the two met at the dock and took off in Greg's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Greg stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done. Greg's approach was simple: He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it into the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Greg took out a net and started scooping them up. Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Greg, "You can't do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!" Greg, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words: "Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?" ©¿©--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------©¿© Put your brand on everyone's desktop...See You Again software gives you the ability to get your logo right up in front of the people you need...bringing them back over and over again to YOUR site! Get a jump on the competition...See You Again! <a href="http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/23.html";>Click</a> http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/23.html ©¿©------------------------STRANGE BREED!-------------------------©¿© If you like funny, wacky, and clean cartoons, then check out "Strange Breed". It's sure to make you and your whole family laugh." <a href="http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm";>Click</a> http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm ©¿©--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------©¿© My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce. The long walks we used to take. The long drives. The special trips he would make to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him -- and the advice he used to give! Much was wasted because I was young when he died. If he were alive today and sharing his gems of wisdom I'd be a better man. Those gems were well and good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice, came when he paused, looked me in the eye and said, "Don't marry a woman with big hands. It makes your dick look smaller." ©¿©--------------FROM THE BATHROOM WALL -------------©¿© I was so poor that if I didn't wake up with a hard-on on Christmas morning I'd have had nothing to play with ©¿©--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------©¿© Limericks anyone? There once was a nasty old ho Who opened up a bakery sto You might not find it funny But she saved lots of money Because she had her own yeast for the dough. A Young Lady once begat Triplets named,Nat, Pat and Tat It was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding For there was no tit for Tat There once was a man from Rangoon Whose farts could be heard on the Moon Even Mars could detectum As they flew from his rectum With the force of a mighty typhoon. ©¿©--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------©¿© Autumn in Brooklyn <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1030 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1030 A new pet.. <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1029 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1029 ©¿©---------------NON SMOKING SECTION-------------------------©¿© <To comply with recent internet law changes...Purehumour will now present a daily non-smoking section...this section is fully smoke-free...I do not smoke while creating it...and you are requested not to smoke while you read it! You co-operation is expected.> Wendy and Anni went out one weekend without their husbands. As they came back, right before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway. Wendy didn't have anything to clean herself with, so she took off her panties and used them to clean herself and discarded them. Anni not finding anything either, thought "I'm not getting rid of my panties..." so she used the ribbon of a flower wreath to clean herself. The morning after, James and Sam, their husbands, were talking to each other on the phone, James says to Sam "We have to be on the look-out, it seems that Wendy and Anni up to no good last night, Wendy came home without her panties..." Sam responded: "You're lucky, Anni came home with a card stuck to her ass that read, "We will never forget you". <End of non-smoking section...please light your tobacco products once more> ©¿©--------------------IT'S NOT PUNNY!------------------------------©¿© Sheila was having trouble with a particularly stubborn varicose vein. A friend suggested Dr. Benson. Just in time, Sheila discovered that this vein had the ability to forecast the weather. When it felt cold, the weather would be cold; when it was warm, the weather would be warm, etc. She decided not to have the problem solved becasue she had become so dependent upon her weather vein. ©¿©------------------------TIMEKILLER-------------------------------©¿© Osama License Plate <a href=" http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-06c.html ">Click</a> http://www.dailyadultjoke.com/jill/02-06c.html Bin Ladens Acts Are Unforgiveable <a href=" http://ugrin.paulsfunhouse.com/ph5.html ">Click</a> http://ugrin.paulsfunhouse.com/ph5.html Is That True Love <a href=" http://www.footlonghotdog.net/truelove.htm ">Click</a> http://www.footlonghotdog.net/truelove.htm Anytime Is A Good Time <a href=" http://www.aikenslaughs.com/1/30.html ">Click</a> http://www.aikenslaughs.com/1/30.html Lots of Words To Describe Men <a href=" http://humorcorner.com/dmp/describe.html ">Click</a> http://humorcorner.com/dmp/describe.html Useless Man <a href=" http://www.comedyezine.com/b3.htm ">Click</a> http://www.comedyezine.com/b3.htm The Way You Make Love Is Criminal <a href=" http://www.footlonghotdog.net/criminal.htm ">Click</a> http://www.footlonghotdog.net/criminal.htm Crazy Sounds Machine <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/crazy.html ">Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/crazy.html Whack A Groundhog <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/whack.html ">Click</a> http://www.jillsjokeline.com/whack.html ©¿©--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------©¿© This guy is really into blow up dolls and rings his mail order supplier and says he wants something absolutely realistic. The supplier says, "I have just the thing, 'Life-like Tina', so realistic you can't tell the difference!" The guy orders one. Meanwhile the supplier is looking at the box and cannot believe how realistic 'Life-like Tina' looks, so he decides to blow it up. Once inflated, he gets really turned on and thinks, "What the hell!" and has sex with the doll. Washing it afterwards, he neatly packages it and sends it out to the guy. A month later the guy calls up, "You know that 'Life-like Tina' blow up doll you sent me? I cannot tell you how happy I am." Supplier, "That's great!" Guy, "Yeah, it's a totally believable experience." Supplier, "Realistic then?" Guy, "So realistic...I got syphilis." ©¿©--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------©¿© Get your condoms here! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/5.html ">Click</a> ©¿©--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------©¿© <And you thought you had a lousy job!> Sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang wins "Worst Job in Singapore" award. Wildlife Reserves Singapore (WRS), which runs the Singapore Zoo, has set up a bank of sperm and animal tissue in order to help preserve species. The thankless task of collecting the sperm falls to Mr. Binatang's, starting his rounds at 4 a.m. "We start so early in the morning because a lot of the animals have 'morning glory' when they wake up, and it's easier to collect the sperm. Wearing rubber gloves and carrying a cooler box filled with ice and Tupperware, Mr. Binatang, 25, told us that he'd just graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in life sciences. He liked nature and animals, and thought that the Singapore Zoo would be the perfect place to work. "I never thought I'd be giving an orangutan a hand job every morning," he said somewhat ruefully. "And he is the worst, he expects to be kissed first." As we approached the orangutan enclosure, we saw the Zoo's most famous resident lying casually on his back, hands behind his head and sporting a huge erection. Applying the massage oil onto his gloves, he lingered outside the enclosure before entering and knelt before the orange beast. About 2 minutes' worth of squelching noises could be heard before Mr. Binatang emerged again. Next the tiger enclosure, the big cats were sprawled lazily on the grass verge, in a somewhat half-hearted manner as he put on a fresh set of gloves and entered the enclosure. "Here, kitty, kitty,kitty..." Moments later, he emerged with several Tupperware full of viscous fluid. "Isn't it dangerous?" we asked. Mr. Binatang was silent for a while. "They know I'm not there as an enemy," he finally said, a glazed, faraway look in his eyes. Worked his way round the zoo, finished his rounds at 3 pm in the afternoon. Carrying out his duties with the tapirs, the rhinoceros, giraffe and the gorillas, amongst others. "Each animal is different," he said, removing his gloves, now speckled with traces of polar bear spunk. "The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is the most tricky because of the size of its thing... sometimes I have to use both my arms to tug on it." "As you can expect it's really affecting my sex life. I can't help it. Each time my wife initiates sex these ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind." How long will he stay difficult to know but deputy assistant director Lai Jee Seow thinks it is important to continue. "It's because the animals have gotten too used to Binatang coming over every morning to pull them off," said, "Many of them now can't be bothered to engage in real sex." ©¿©--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------©¿© Jogging is bad.. <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1028 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1028 Pregnant pics... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1027 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1027 ©¿©-------------------------WEIRD NEWS---------------------------©¿© A Georgia teenager is tackling his state's fornication law after he was fined for having sex with his girlfriend. The two 16-year-olds were caught having sex by the girl's mother. They were old enough to have sex but were found guilty at Fayette Juvenile Court because they're not married. The girl was sent to boot camp. Her probation officer pressed charges after hearing about the incident. The boy's lawyer and the American Civil Liberties Union are appealing in the Georgia Supreme Court. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution says the girl had previous problems with the law. The boy's lawyer Catherine Sanderson said: "Unless you're married, you have to be celibate under the law. The state has no business making that law or enforcing it." Reports don't say how much the boy was fined. Weird News is a daily feature of Purehumour...it contains a previously published News Report. If you find an article that you wish to see here..please send the article, name of the publication and date to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">News</a> IF you like Weird News...subscribe to my weekly ezine of Weird News Weekly: <a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists</a> ©¿©--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------©¿© Thor (The Greek God of War) was bored one day and was just sitting around watching the human race. He soon noticed that people spent a lot of time and energy engaging in sex. He concluded that therefore, sex must be really enjoyable. He decided he would go down to Earth and find out what this sex thing was all about. He found a nice little lady, took her to a motel, and spent the entire night with her. It turned out to be the best time he had ever had in his life. When he awoke in the morning, he felt so good he jumped up, threw his arms up in victory and shouted, "I'M THOR!". The little lady, still in bed, responded," You're thore!?! I'm tho thore I can't even pith!" ©¿©-------------------------QUICK WIT-------------------------------©¿© [||||] T U R N E R T E R M I N A T E D [||||] Israeli officials are miffed at CNN's coverage of Middle East terrorism and may pull the plug on the cable net. (AP) And showing Larry King eating a ham sandwich didn't help, either. Copyright © 2002 by Bob Mills, all rights reserved. http://www.topica.com/lists/funnysideup ©¿©--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------©¿© The Irish priest was at the altar one dreary Sunday morning, addressing his congregation with a vehement sermon that alcohol was the work of the devil. "As an example," he stated during his sermon, "If you were to lead a donkey to a bowl of water and a bowl of whiskey, from which would he drink?" A grizzled old Mick at the back of the church spoke up: "Aye, Father, for sure he'd drink from the water." The priest, elated, said, "Very good, my son. And can you tell me WHY he'd drink from the water?" The Irishman at the back of the church replied, "Sure I can tell ye' why, Father. Because he's an ass." ©¿©--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------©¿© HE'S SO CUTE !!! Get your own interactive DeskMate for FREE <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/13.html";>Click Here </a> !! FREE !! DOWNLOAD NOW !! FREE !! Tahni. The world's cutest digital Supermodel! <a href=" http://ads.paulsfunhouse.com/14.html "> Click Here </a> ©¿©--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------©¿© Getting dropped... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1026 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1026 Without the police... <a href=" http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1025 ">Click Here </a> http://www.Fun-lists.com/cgi-bin/g.cgi?386.13.1025 ©¿©--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------©¿© Keli: I tried skydiving this weekend! Becky: Ohmigod! How was it? Keli: It reminded me of the first time I had sex. Becky: What do you mean by that? Keli: It was awkward; I was nervous; and it was all over in 30 seconds. ©¿©---------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------©¿© How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope. ©¿©--------------------------EDITORIAL--------------------------------©¿© Look Ma, No Brain! by Dave Glardon Did anyone hear the last thing Robbie Knievel said before he jumped the Grand Canyon on his motorcycle? I could have sworn it was, "Dad, I am a professional. Don't try this at home." After decades of languishing in relative obscurity, waiting for a new liver, and watching his son put his best efforts to shame, Evel Knievel has decided it's time to get back on a motorcycle and jump something. I'm not sure why, at 63 years of age, he thinks this is a good idea. I guess it's because he's too old to jump women. Let's face it, the guy had a reputation. I remember Evel Knievel in his prime. I marveled as he fearlessly jumped nineteen cars in his white leather suit. And those slow motion replays of his spill at Caesar's Palace were awesome. He had to be made of steel. Actually, that's not too far from the truth. He's got more metal parts than most new cars, and he's about as nimble as the Tin Man. Back then, every boy wanted to be a daredevil. We'd find a piece of plywood, prop it on a big rock, and jump our bicycles across toy cars and younger siblings. And we're supposed to be the intelligent species. He always made the same announcement before every jump. "Kids, don't try this on your bicycles. I'm a professional." And he was. By his own account, he's broken every bone in his body at least once. There's nothing amateurish about that. But after a few years, jumping cars and semis wasn't that much of a thrill any more, so he got the bright idea to jump a canyon. Okay, so he's been dropped on his head a few times. As usual, the great daredevil let his mouth run faster than his brain and promised something he couldn't possibly do. He would jump the granddaddy of them all, the Grand Canyon. Well, at least part of it. But the National Park Service wouldn't let him. They didn't like the image of a national landmark with tourists drifting lazily down the river as motorcycles came falling out of the sky. So he found another canyon where the owners weren't quite so particular. But he still had a problem. His motorcycle needed a few modifications, like a rocket engine, wings, and a parachute. He hired a retired rocket scientist to design his infamous X-2 Skycycle. It was essentially a used aircraft fuel tank with a pair of handlebars for good looks. The idea was to pump it full of steam, shoot him over the canyon, then deploy a parachute and let him land on his nose. It wouldn't be the first time. It worked almost perfectly. All except that part about actually making it across the canyon. But that's just a minor detail. The parachute deployed before he left the takeoff ramp, the result of a mechanical failure. That's the official story, anyway. I'm thinking the mechanical problem was the location of the parachute release handle. It was situated right next to the trembling hands of the reluctant daredevil. You do the math. After that, he made a few more jumps, took a few more spills, then faded quietly into the sunset. There was no emotional speech, no retirement ceremony, no big final jump. He left with no more fanfare than Al Gore. Since that time, he's watched son Robbie redefine the sport of motorcycle jumping. In 1989, he conquered the dreaded fountains at Caesar's Palace. In 1999, he jumped 130 feet from the roof of one 13-story building to another. Later that year, he jumped 225 feet across the Grand Canyon. Now it seems the elder Knievel is getting jealous. So he's decided to stage a comeback by jumping fifty wheelchairs at the Geritol factory to raise money for Alcoholics Anonymous. Well, something like that. And all the major networks are jumping at the chance to air the stunt live. Or not so live, as the case may be. Talk about the ultimate in reality programming. I'm not sure if I'll watch the stunt or not. After raising two daughters, motorcycle jumping just isn't that impressive. Unless he were to line up my daughters' boyfriends and jump them. Copyright 2002 Dave Glardon - All rights reserved -- Dave Glardon is a product of the fifties who came of age in the seventies and is still trying to make sense of the nineties. You can visit his Website at http://www.daveglardon.com Your article length submissions are welcome...send your humourous submissions of between 300 and 500 words to: <a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Editorials</a> Editorial comments expressed here are copyright the writer and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the writer and also the editor of Purehumour. ©¿©----------------------------XXX SITES TO VISIT---------------------------©¿© The following are XXX sites...if you click them...you will see material that could offend you...pure and simple! 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