Title: Little Johnny: jokes
Little Johnny on Math
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence
and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little
Johnny .
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your
thinking."
Then little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three
women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
cream.
Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is 'the one who is
wearing a ring, but I like your thinking!
Little Johnny on Math
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks his father?
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,' I said '6,'" replies Johnny. "But
that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said dad!"
Little Johnny on English
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"
Johnny says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful."
Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob!"
Little Johnny on Grammar
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
piss!!"
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in
this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please
use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you
to go."
Little Johnny, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if
you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
Little Johnny on Grammar
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought
my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.
"My mommy recently planned a banquet and it turned out beautiful."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
little Johnny.
"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"
Little Johnny on Age
Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench eating one candy bar after
another. After the sixth candy, a man on the bench across from him
said,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give
you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Johnny replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat six candy bars at a time?"
Little Johnny answered, "No, but he minded his own fucking business!!!
Gotta love that little Johnny !!!!!
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