[RollTideFan] You ain't gonna believe this!

2004-06-01 Thread Jeff Todd
http://tinyurl.com/26k4j

Slef E.



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[RollTideFan] Deere VO - I think I got you beat this time

2004-06-01 Thread Pat Smoot
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any
sex in quite some time.  She was afraid she might have something wrong with
her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist.

 Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist,
Dr. Chang, so she went to see him.

  Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off  all
your  crose."  The woman did as she was told.

 "Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room."

  Again, the woman did as she was instructed.  Dr. Chang then said, "OK,
 now craw  reery, reery fass back to me."  So she did.

 Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad.
 You haf  Ed Zachary Disease.  Worse case I ever see.  Dat why you not haf
sex or dates."

  Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is
 Ed Zachary Disease?"

  Dr. Chang sighed deeply, and replied:  "Ed Zachary Disease is when
 your  face look Ed Zachary like your ass."



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RE: [RollTideFan] GOP Looks to Limit Class-Action Suits

2004-06-01 Thread Baker, Lee
I hope this doesn't affect my "Bama Class."  :)


Lee

-Original Message-
From: Jeff Todd [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Tuesday, June 01, 2004 1:50 AM
To: RollTideFan-The University of Alabama Athletics Discussion List
Subject: [RollTideFan]  GOP Looks to Limit Class-Action Suits


By JESSE J. HOLLAND, Associated Press Writer 

WASHINGTON - After trying to curb class-action suits for years, Republicans finally 
have enough support to ram legislation through the Senate to limit what they call an 
overabundance of frivolous cases against American businesses. But a decision by Senate 
Majority Leader Bill Frist to push forward immediately on that legislation instead of 
finishing work on a defense bill may have the effect of forcing the GOP to wait even 
longer before claiming a victory that big business has sought for years. 

The Senate will vote Tuesday on whether to act immediately on the bill to move more 
class-action suits from state to federal courts instead of continuing work on the 
Defense Department's $422 billion authorization bill. That was the pending business 
when the Senate recessed for its holiday break on May 21. 
Several Democrats have promised to join with the GOP to give Republicans the 60 votes 
they need to move the class-action bill to passage. But those same Democrats are 
expected to refuse to vote to abandon the defense legislation to do it. 
"They believe in class-action reform a lot, but they are not going to vote" to skip 
over the defense bill, said Assistant Democratic leader Harry Reid, D-Nev. "We believe 
we should finish the defense bill and then go to class action." 
Frist wanted to put the defense bill off because Democrats are refusing to agree to a 
limit on amendments, and Frist wants extra time to negotiate. Moving to class action 
would give Frist that time. 
"The class-action bill does have strong bipartisan support, and we would like to 
finish that bill in a reasonable period of time," Frist said. 
The GOP bill would move more class-action lawsuits - where one person or a small group 
represents the interests of an entire class of people in court - out of state courts 
where juries are often more generous to plaintiffs, and into federal courts where 
awards typically are smaller. 
Senate Republicans and the corporate community, for whom curbing class-action lawsuits 
is a major priority, say businesses are drowning in frivolous lawsuits while trial 
lawyers profit handsomely by sometimes just threatening legal action. 
"We are extremely pleased that after six years the United States Senate will finally 
have the opportunity to debate and vote on legislation to fix the country's broken 
state court class-action system," said Stanton Anderson, executive vice president of 
the U.S. Chamber of Commerce (news - web sites)., who called the bill "moderate and 
reasonable." 
But many Senate Democrats and other opponents say the legislation only helps 
businesses escape judgments for wrongdoing. Huge damage awards are needed to ensure 
corporations play by the rules, they say. 
Federal judges, opponents say, will either throw many of the cases out or be less 
likely to issue multimillion-dollar judgments against corporations if the bill is 
passed. 
"The Senate proposal is designed to kill the use of class-action lawsuits, which have 
resulted in decisions that not only provide refunds to consumers and others injured by 
corporate wrongdoing, but also require changes to business practices that have cheated 
consumers, workers and even local and state governments," said a statement from 
USAction, a liberal, pro-consumer activist group. 
GOP senators fell one vote short of achieving a filibuster-proof, 60-vote majority in 
October. But now several Democrats, including Christopher Dodd of Connecticut and 
Charles Schumer of New York, have agreed to support the legislation. 
Democrats feared some of their state constituents would lose their right to sue in 
their own courts. Under the deal, Democrats get additional exceptions in the bill that 
they say will preserve class-action lawsuits that belong in state court.


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RE: [RollTideFan] Anyone seen JoElbu?

2004-06-01 Thread Joel Perry
Its just a flesh wound.

($1 to Monty Python)

(or should that be '$1 to Monty Rattlesnake'?)

 -Original Message-
From:   [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]  On
Behalf Of Jeff Todd
Sent:   Sunday, May 30, 2004 8:55 PM
To: RollTideFan-The University of Alabama Athletics Discussion List
Subject:[RollTideFan]  Anyone seen JoElbu?

Jackson County
The Hazards of Handling Snakes; Another Worshipper Injured

Jason Miles Reports, 05/29/04 [EMAIL PROTECTED]

The Rock House Holiness Church is located at the end of Jackson County road
415 in the Macedonia community. It's pretty unassuming from the outside.
People say that inside, three nights a week, snake handlers do their thing.
They take up serpents in the name of God.

"They're a bunch that's got religious beliefs and are faithful to them,"
says neighbor Thurman Hammond.

Hammond says the handlers are good people. He just doesn't share their
bizarre beliefs.

"When you go to church, you're supposed to worship," says Hammond. "They do
that and I do that, but I don't have to take up serpents and I really think
it's a bad thing to do," he adds.

One young man learned that the hard way Friday night. Emergency officials
says he was bitten by a snake inside the Rock House Church. He was badly
injured, but expected to survive. It's the same church in which a Tennessee
preacher died from a rattlesnake bite in October of 1998.

"Actually, myself, I'm scared of snakes," says one Macedonia resident.

Other who live in the area respect those who are not afraid of handling
snakes.

"You know, it's their religion," says Tim Wilburn. "If it's what they want
to do, it's fine," he adds.

"They don't hurt anybody but themselves," says Thurman Hammond.

However, he thinks the practice of taking up serpents should be outlawed.

"Especially around small kids, because they're going to learn what their
elders do," says Hammond.

He says he's sad to say that there are no signs of the practice stopping.
For many who live on Sand Mountain, sadder still is the stigma associated
with snake handling.

"It hurts the area because they think everybody does it and you know,
there's very few in this area that do," he adds.

For the people who do take up snakes, it's a leap of faith they are
apparently more than willing to take.

By the way, the young man bitten by a snake Friday night was taken to
Jackson County Hospital. His name and condition are not being released.



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