Oh, yeah, rave. A couple in my area already are SRO all weekend long. The person who has to step out from behind the counter and say, "Sorry, folks -- we're all out..." needs to have their affairs in order beforehand.
"If all the world's a stage and all the people merely players, who in bloody hell hired the director?" -- Charles L Grant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQUxw9aUVik To: scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com From: ravena...@yahoo.com Date: Tue, 1 Dec 2009 21:22:33 +0000 Subject: [scifinoir2] Re: America's urgent wing crisis Imagine my surprise when I discovered Atlanta was the wing capital of the United States. Never in my life have I seen so many wing establishments! Things could get ugly down there! ~rave! --- In scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com, Martin Baxter <truthseeker...@...> wrote: > > > Keith, brace for the rioting sure to break out here in Atlanta... > > "If all the world's a stage and all the people merely players, who in bloody > hell hired the director?" -- Charles L Grant > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQUxw9aUVik > > > > > To: scifinoir2@yahoogroups.com > From: ravena...@... > Date: Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:59:18 +0000 > Subject: [scifinoir2] America's urgent wing crisis > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-oped1127wings_newnov27,0,637059.story > > > > chicagotribune.com > > > > America's urgent wing crisis > > > > By Dennis O'Toole > > > > November 27, 2009 > > > > Look on my wings, ye hungry, and despair. > > > > -- Percy Bysshe Shelley > > > > The United States faces a severe chicken wing shortage, yet you'll be > forgiven for not knowing this. The media are distracted by less important > shortages, like flu vaccines and full-time jobs. The talking heads of cable > TV prattle on about the usual nonsense: the war in Iraq, the war in > Afghanistan, the on-going financial crisis, our broken health care system, > and the increasing likelihood of mass extinctions from global warming. > > > > I'm sorry, am I boring you? > > > > Probably. What the media don't understand is: We have bigger pieces of meat > to fry. Chicken breasts, namely, since the price of wings now rivals that of > cocaine. > > > > Early this month the U.S. Department of Agriculture reported -- in a tone I'd > call alarmist were I not so freaked out myself -- that poultry production is > down 3.5 percent. The USDA drove this point (and the knife) home Nov. 18, in > its normally hilarious, "Weekly Estimated Slaughter of U.S. Broiler/Fryers > and Fowl": > > > > "The estimated number of broiler-fryers available for slaughter the week > ending 21-Nov-09 is 148.4 million head compared to 158.9 million head > slaughtered the same week last year." > > > > Let me put the chilling language of bureaucracy in terms you may better > understand: There are 10.5 million fewer chickens to eat right now than a > year ago, and, therefore, 21 million fewer wings. Demand, meanwhile, remains > steadfast and unwavering. As a result, chicken breasts are cheaper than wings > for the first time in the recorded history of things like this. > > > > Bars and restaurants all over our once-great nation have responded by booting > wings from the menu. Such an act of cowardice is akin to spitting on a bald > eagle or putting an American flag in the dishwasher. > > > > Worse, many of these treasonous trattorias have debased the wing by > introducing the "boneless wing." I can barely type that phrase without > vomiting. A boneless wing is an abomination, like a godless church, an Abe > Lincoln-less penny, or an episode of "Family Matters" without Urkel. You > simply cannot have a chicken wing without the bone and -- far, far more > important -- the skin. > > > > So what are these pretenders to the throne? Not wings at all, just pieces of > breast meat! Wings are a delicacy thanks to the optimum skin-to-meat-to-bone > ratio (exactly 1.618033). Breasts, on the other hand, are so tasteless that > most cultures use them as packing material. > > > > What is President Barack Obama doing about this? > > > > Nothing. > > > > Not once has he addressed Congress on the matter. Not once has he made a > surprise visit to Baghdad to discuss it with his generals. Not once has he > asked the Federal Drug Administration to release its hot sauce stockpile. > > > > That's called socialism. I'm pretty sure, at least. As far as I can glean > from current usage, socialism is whatever bothers me about Obama. > > > > Mr. Obama: Stop dithering. Restore the 10-cent wing night. Make the boneless > wing a felony. And bring back "Family Matters." God that Urkel was funny. > > > > Dennis O'Toole is a writer and improv performer living in Chicago. > > > > Copyright © 2009, Chicago Tribune > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________ > Windows 7: Unclutter your desktop. Learn more. > http://www.microsoft.com/windows/windows-7/videos-tours.aspx?h=7sec&slideid=1&media=aero-shake-7second&listid=1&stop=1&ocid=PID24727::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-US:WWL_WIN_7secdemo:122009 > _________________________________________________________________ Chat with Messenger straight from your Hotmail inbox. http://www.microsoft.com/windows/windowslive/hotmail_bl1/hotmail_bl1.aspx?ocid=PID23879::T:WLMTAGL:ON:WL:en-ww:WM_IMHM_4:092009
