The Tenth Sunday after Pentecost


Codependence



Grace, mercy, and peace to you from God our Father and our Lord and Savior
Jesus Christ! At the end of today’s Epistle, God says that



We are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from
whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it
is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so
that it builds itself up in love.



Dear Christian friends,



How would you describe your relationship—your personal connection—to all
these other Christians gathered here? Today’s Epistle suggests that we each
ought to think of ourselves as codependent upon one another.



For the moment, codependency is a negative thing. The medical world
describes codependency as a one-sided relationship with someone who has
great personal struggle in his or her life, such as addiction. Codependent
relationships require more giving than receiving. Codependent people do not
often have very high self-esteem. They need someone or something to come to
them from the outside in order to reassure them, build them up or make them
feel better about themselves. People say that Codependents need to be
needed; they are “addicted” to the relationship they are in.



Again, codependency is currently defined as a negative, destructive thing.
We should change that. When I suggest that we ought to think of ourselves
as codependent upon one another, I am NOT saying that we should act
destructively toward one another. To the contrary, we should always give to
one another the absolute best love and care possible! When I say that we
should think of ourselves as codependents, I am saying that we should
re-define the word codependence so that it describes who we are and
reflects what we have now received through the mercies of God in Christ
Jesus.



We Christians have a long history of taking words from the unbelieving
world around us and using those words to speak our faith. We have not
hesitated to redefine those words in order to get the job done. For example,



·        When we speak about God’s *nature* and *being*, we use words that
were once used by ancient Greek philosophers, such as Aristotle or Plato.
We Christians simply have given different meanings to the words *nature*
and *being*. Unlike the philosophers, we use *nature* and *being*
exclusively to describe what God says about Himself in His Scriptures.



·        Again, the word *Easter* is not originally a Christian word.
*Easter* once described a pagan festival that celebrated the end of winter.
We Christians would much rather celebrate our Lord’s resurrection victory
over sin and death. In order to impress the joy of the resurrection upon
the unbelieving world, we took the word *Easter* from the pagans and we
changed its meaning.



Today’s Epistle offers us another opportunity to steal another word and
make in our own. In today’s Epistle, God says,



We are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from
whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it
is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so
that it builds itself up in love.



Sounds like codependency to me! This is NOT a negative codependency, as the
world defines the word, but rather, a codependency rich in love, full of
forgiveness and overflowing with life!



·        Codependency is a one-sided relationship with someone who has
great personal struggle in life. That pretty well describes the connection
Jesus has with me! The personal struggle is sin. The struggle never goes
away, and yet the faithful mercies of our God remain new for us every
morning. One-sided is correct: You and I receive FAR MORE from our Lord
than we will ever be able to give. Self-sacrifice is the name of His game,
so to speak, and His giving to us did not end with His cross and death. As
you heard from today’s Epistle, “*When He ascended on high… He gave gifts
to men*.” Again, from today’s Gospel,



“The Bread of God is He who comes down from heaven and gives life to the
world… I am the Bread of Life,” says Jesus, “whoever comes to Me shall not
hunger, and whoever believes in Me shall never thirst” (John 6:33, 35).



·        It is also said that codependent people do not often have very
high self-esteem. Perhaps self-esteem is overrated! Christ Jesus your Lord
gave you something greater than self-esteem when He “*ascended far above
the heavens*,” as you heard in today’s Epistle. Far better than
self-esteem, Christ Jesus have given you “*the apostles, the prophets, the
evangelists, the pastors and teachers*.” Why has Christ Jesus given you
these things? So that you may attain “*unity of faith*” and “*maturity*”
and “*the measure of stature of the fullness of Christ*.” Divine gifts such
as these make self-esteem turn pale in comparison.



·        People say that codependents need someone or something to come to
them from the outside in order to reassure them, build them up or make them
feel better about themselves. We Christians have a name for that very same
need. We call it the forgiveness of sins, which is now yours in Christ
Jesus.



·        People say that codependents need to be needed; they are
“addicted” to the relationship. Today’s Epistle brings us to exactly the
same point when it describes our life together in bodily terms. We have an
unending need for each other because we are, as you heard, “*joined and
held together by every joint*.” Or, as God says to each Christian in
another place,



You are the body of Christ and individually members of it. For the body
does not consist of one member but of many. The eye cannot say to the hand,
“I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of
you” (1 Corinthians 12:27, 14, 21)



What benefits will we receive, if we should steal the word codependence
from the world, redefine it and make it our own? The word codependence will
could help reorient our minds and weave us more tightly together into what
today’s Epistle calls “*the unity of faith*.”



·        If we become more deeply aware of the codependent connection we
Christians have with each other, perhaps we will not be quite so quick to
look judgmentally at one another and hold our sins against each other.
Perhaps codependence can even help us to act more quickly in throwing a
blanket (so to speak) over each other’s weaknesses and shortcomings, so
that we may guard one another from the judgment and disgust of others.



·        Codependence might also help us to rethink the way we hold this
precious gift of faith that God has given to us. For several hundred years
(since the Enlightenment), we have tended to think that faith is a personal
thing that we each individually hold while we stand together in the group.
To use an analogy, individual faith is comparable to a bunch of different
tennis balls—each one the same size and color—and we all get to hold one.
Codependence will help us more deeply to realize the other side of the
Christian faith, that the faith is also a corporate thing, a group thing, a
mutual thing, a shared thing, a something we all hold together. Not so many
tennis balls, but we all hold the same edge of one giant parachute.



·        Finally, codependence will help us to picture in our minds the
sort of growth and maturity that God describes in today’s Epistle. Not my
gain at your expense, and not your gain at mine, but rather, our mutual
self-sacrifice and our corporate gain at the expense of our Lord Jesus
Christ. He is our “*one Lord*” who has given us “*one Baptism*” in order
that we may share “*one faith*” in “*one God and Father of all, who is over
all and through all and in all*.”



We are to grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from
whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it
is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so
that it builds itself up in love.



Or, to quote another lame lyric, “Yes, it’s true. I am happy to be stuck
with you.”
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