> Is this multi-user chat customizable to where users respond to texts in order 
> of joining group and invites.


XEP-0045 already supports inivites (see 7.8.2); the recipient can accept or 
decline the invitation, and provide a message to say why.


It's entirely possible for your client to do something fancy like 
auto-accept-and-join on reply, or decline on dismissal - there is no need for 
additional protocol to support this.

This could be a nice feature, but it must be designed in a way that the user is 
fully aware that replying means joining, so they won't do so accidentally.

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