Another classic post... Stuff like this doesn't get posted here anymore, now that we've mostly all got blogs.
Forwarded message:
from Onj <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
to talk2 <talk2@AndreLouis.COM>
sent: Tuesday, 6/22/2004 at 6:13:49 PM
subject: The Talk2 List How many things does it take to make you mad like me?
Ok, today is stupid.
Today is stupid because of the food situation. First, I cook sausage rolls and
chips, or, in the Us, Fries. hmm, lets not start that debate.
Anyway, i get talking on ventrilo, and guess what? the bastards burn. So I eat
this concoction of crap, the stuff tastes good in the middle, and the further
towards the edge you go, the worce it gets.
This makes me mad'I cooked it' I said to myself, 'so I'll eat it, never mind
what it tastes like!' So I do, don't I? Yup, I do.
Later on, feeling quite quite crappy by this time, I go to the fridge and yea,
there is a bottle of water on the bottom shelf! I pour some! I go to put back
the bottle and the lid comes off, so I have to clean it up don't I? or it'll
just spread and be bad for itself and all over the floor! Under the fridge I
crawl with me cloth and what not, getting dirty and madder and madder, and so
on. That's dealt with.
I then decide at about half 11 my time to make something light and easy. But
no, thwought with difficulties today aren't I?
Yup indeed! Simple things. noodles you know. Supposed to be easy! But alas,
something has to go wrong! What this time?
Fill a microwaveable contaner with 300 mills water. I try that.
Please note: measuring jug has lots and lots and lots of iddy widdly woopoof
thinggies up the side, from 50 mills upwards. and they be on the outside.
So I put water in this jug thing, and I count. The water feels like it's in the
right place. It probably isn't. I will now never know.
Anyway. All good, I hope, I think, I put the water in the container, open the
noodles and well, put them in the container too. I then put the container
containing noodles and lots of beautifully hot water in the old micro
contraption thing.
I put on the micro contraption thing for two minutes, I think that's the
alloted time. Having forgotten the struct instrictions from earlier, that my
mother read me, I no longer have a friggin clue have I! And I didn't exactly go
out of my way to write it down!
So anyway. Beep, beep, beep, goes the micro what's it.
I take this container thing containing noodles out the flip flop machine, and i
take it in here, where I'm sitting.
I'm eating these noodly thingies and hey, there's a big plastic, radio-actively
blown to bits thing in my... Wait a minute. Let me go back just a bit here.
Here I am minding me own, right? and I thinks to meself, 'Aren't these things
supposed to like have flavour besides water?' And I remember they are.
Then I find the floating thing. Not till about the third time of trying to eat
it do I work out it's a plastic packet.
What's in the packet ladies and gents? what looks like ground up stock! Same
stuff you get in cupper soup! Oh, but i didn't know that was there, how could
I? It wasn't in my stract enstroctions was it! so I just missed it!
Anyway, I try to open it. it's not a packet anymore, it's mutated into a
deformed lump of, well, of, of something!
So I get a fork to it and I chew it and bend it and break it and try to knife
it in my sleep and then sit and fart on it and nothing works!
Eventually shouting at it and then blowing my nose loudly to make that ever so
common fwoof fwoof sound does the job, and it part way opens.
Then I gotter use my fingers and thums and all that lark to get just a bit of
the packet into the container containing noodly what's its and then I finish
off my meal.
Fuming by this time.
Today has just been my intire fault, but can you get as mad as me in a single
day?
Three things, three very distinct things made me mad today, lets hope tomorrow
isn't so very bad!
Goodnight!
-- --
Patrick Perdue (MCP, CNA)
KE4DYI
Greensboro, NC
website: http://www.pdaudio.net
home: +1(828)221-2971
Mobile phone and SMS: +1(336)509-5583
e-mail and .net messenger: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
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Ok, today is stupid.
Today is stupid because of the food
situation. First, I cook sausage rolls and chips, or, in the Us, Fries.
hmm, lets not start that debate.
Anyway, i get talking on ventrilo, and guess what?
the bastards burn. So I eat this concoction of crap, the stuff tastes good
in the middle, and the further towards the edge you go, the worce it
gets.
This makes me mad'I cooked it' I said to myself,
'so I'll eat it, never mind what it tastes like!' So I do, don't I? Yup, I
do.
Later on, feeling quite quite crappy by this time,
I go to the fridge and yea, there is a bottle of water on the bottom shelf! I
pour some! I go to put back the bottle and the lid comes off, so I have to
clean it up don't I? or it'll just spread and be bad for itself and all over the
floor! Under the fridge I crawl with me cloth and what not, getting dirty and
madder and madder, and so on. That's dealt with.
I then decide at about half 11 my time to make
something light and easy. But no, thwought with difficulties today aren't
I?
Yup indeed! Simple things. noodles you
know. Supposed to be easy! But alas, something has to go wrong! What this
time?
Fill a microwaveable contaner with 300 mills water.
I try that.
Please note: measuring jug has lots and lots and
lots of iddy widdly woopoof thinggies up the side, from 50 mills upwards. and
they be on the outside.
So I put water in this jug thing, and I count. The
water feels like it's in the right place. It probably isn't. I will now never
know.
Anyway. All good, I hope, I think, I put the water
in the container, open the noodles and well, put them in the container too. I
then put the container containing noodles and lots of beautifully hot water in
the old micro contraption thing.
I put on the micro contraption thing for two
minutes, I think that's the alloted time. Having forgotten the struct
instrictions from earlier, that my mother read me, I no longer have a friggin
clue have I! And I didn't exactly go out of my way to write it
down!
So anyway. Beep, beep, beep, goes the micro what's
it.
I take this container thing containing noodles out
the flip flop machine, and i take it in here, where I'm sitting.
I'm eating these noodly thingies and hey, there's a
big plastic, radio-actively blown to bits thing in my... Wait a minute. Let me
go back just a bit here.
Here I am minding me own, right? and I thinks to
meself, 'Aren't these things supposed to like have flavour besides water?' And I
remember they are.
Then I find the floating thing. Not till about the
third time of trying to eat it do I work out it's a plastic packet.
What's in the packet ladies and gents? what
looks like ground up stock! Same stuff you get in cupper soup! Oh, but i didn't
know that was there, how could I? It wasn't in my stract enstroctions was it! so
I just missed it!
Anyway, I try to open it. it's not a packet
anymore, it's mutated into a deformed lump of, well, of, of
something!
So I get a fork to it and I chew it and bend it and
break it and try to knife it in my sleep and then sit and fart on it and nothing
works!
Eventually shouting at it and then blowing my nose
loudly to make that ever so common fwoof fwoof sound does the job, and it part
way opens.
Then I gotter use my fingers and thums and all that
lark to get just a bit of the packet into the container containing noodly what's
its and then I finish off my meal.
Fuming by this time.
Today has just been my intire fault, but can you
get as mad as me in a single day?
Three things, three very distinct things made me
mad today, lets hope tomorrow isn't so very bad!
Goodnight!
|
