Tonight I was walking in a dark rural area around 11 p.m. in a thunderstorm with no rain-gear or umbrella, like a total m*ron. I had planned on a mile walk.
I needed to make an important phone call to someone to let them know what my exact situation was, as they had earlier offered to help me and pick me up a few miles from that location and give me a ride to where I had left my car. I needed to let them know that I was not at the meeting place, but instead on foot to my car, which was parked about a mile away. I wanted to tell them that I assumed that I was going to be okay, but for them to remain by the phone for about 30 minutes just in case. I had no idea, but touchscreen phones are almost worthless in such a situation. The heavy rain-drops confused the phone to the point that I could not place a call or send a text. I was about a mile from any kind of shelter, whatsoever. I would have been better off to just high-tail it and walk fast to where I had parked my car ( assuming it was still there ). But instead of high-tailing it, I stood in the thunderstorm like a d*mb*ss, trying to figure out why the phone was so confused. At that point, I started to get the shivers, and realized I had ph*cked up and it was time to high-tail it. By that time, my clothes were weighted down from being saturated. ( at that point, I imagined the way my luck was going that I would get struck by lightning ). ( Ironically, 4 hours earlier I was sweating in the desert south Texas sun, in the town of Bishop ). After walking 1/4 mile in the thunderstorm while talking to myself like some kind of person with schizophrenia, the rain finally let up enough to where the phone would work. I was able to place the call to the person to let them know, that I had almost reached my car. I got to my car and immediately stripped down to my wet underwear, cranked up the heater, and tried to collect my senses ( what little, if any that I have left ). Then I drove home in my wet underwear. Had my car not started or had I not been able to find my key or some other unfortunate bad luck, I would have had to immediately call 911. I did have a complete change of clothes in the trunk for emergency, so I would have eventually put those on, but it was only a 30 minute drive home, and I did not want to get arrested for undressing in public, and at the rate my luck has been going I had to assume some other bizarre thing would happen if I did not rush home. David Locklear P.S. Last night, I performed an acapella version of a old mariachi song in the town of Reynosa, Mexico, in front of about 100 Reynosanos, in honor of my beloved mother-in-law, who was celebrating her 80th birthday. The mariachi band kicked in a little at the end, once they figured out that I actually knew how to sing the first verse of the song. But then my karaoke app froze up on the smartphone ( due to poor internet signal ), and I stood there looking like a really really bad American idol contestant. I will try to find a video of that next week and put it on YouTube. If you go to my Facebook page, there should be a few photos of her birthday party. Some of you met her at a few TCRs back around 2000, and at two NSS Conventions, ( Bellingham, Alabama 2005 ), and any cavers that were at our wedding. Meaning about 50 cavers have briefly met her.
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