Sex not necessarily love
By Agiresaasi Apophia
June 10 - 16, 2004
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Deceptive ideologies have slowly but surely invaded our society and they could probably be responsible for the infiltration of moral decay. Here is one of them. “To say ‘I love you’ is a direct euphemism of ‘I want to have sex with you’ stated a writer who preferred anonymity. Would you subscribe to the above view?
If so, check your pulse. You need a sixth sense of discernment. Love is probably the most misused word under the sun and many have used it for selfish ends. It has been used to steal, abduct, kill, destroy... Kit was kicked out by her boyfriend because she doesn’t believe in sex before marriage. In her boyfriends’ opinion she doesn’t love him if she can’t sleep with him. She is a principled woman and rather than yield, she chose to wait for one who shares her beliefs. Incidentally, this isn’t just a male craze. Some females share the same misconception. Tim says that most women he has tried to relate to have thrown him out because he too does not believe in premarital sex. They say he doesn’t love them because he does not tackle that subject. His girl friend accused him of treating her like his sister. So, is sex love or love sex? I can almost hear Shakespeare speaking.
If you really love somebody as whole, not just particular parts of his or her body, why should you quit a relationship for such a triviality? If you say that sex is love, what about children who are products of rape? Are they also products of love? What about spouses who deliberately infect their spouses with HIV/Aids? Is it as a result of love? Consider the sex workers? Are they doing it for love? “He never intended that people have it casually as has become the practice in this perverse generation.” Some do it to overcome the feeling of inferiority. This is especially so in men who seek to prove their masculinity. Others do it to pay or secure favours. These are usually females who prostitute their bodies for financial, academic and job favours. The other reason is because it is assumed to be a marital duty. This is portrayed in the Uganda Demographic and Health survey 2000/2001 where the coital frequency among the married in Western Uganda was around 3.5 times a week. The explanation respondents gave was not love. They said they play sex because culture dictates so. Some men use sex to depict a girl’s seriousness about their marriage proposals. Some girls also use sex to pay back the presents men have lavished on them. Ever wondered why sex is referred to as making love? I do. Always. Making lust would be a more appropriate definition of pre-marital sex. For love in its purest sense has the capacity for patience, endurance and tolerance, which lust does not have. So next time somebody insists on you proving your love for him or her by having sex with them you know the answer. Love can exist without sex as much as sex can exist without love. The two, therefore, are not the same. |
© 2004 The Monitor Publications
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