http://www.muslimahsource.org/relationships/married-men-untouchable-species/
Married Men: The Untouchable Species February 11, 2009 (9 hours ago) by Cindy A Filed under Featured, Relationships (57 views) Leave a comment It was a live night: good food, company and laughter. At most gatherings, men and women are segregated, but since this was more of an intimate family and friend's night, we sat together. The men cracked jokes and the women laughed. Being the only young singleton lady of the bunch I am usually target for their jokes. One of the husbands decided it would be funny to ridicule my tea-making skills. Although they laughed at my expense, I found it hilarious too and wasn't shy to return the favor just as strong. That's when my mom gave me the "nudge!" My mom would explain later, in the car, that I had to watch it when it came to married men–even if they are twice my age! I was a little surprised by what she said. I always viewed my friends' husbands more like older brothers or an uncle type figure. The rule seems to change according to the couple. One of my friend's husbands runs If I happen to be in proximity. If we ever meet on the street, he won't be able to identify me although I've been friends with his wife for years and have eaten at their house almost daily. One of my other close acquaintances insists that I avoid visiting when the husband is home from work, God forbid he will see and talk to me. On the other hand, another couple I know is open about inviting me over to cook dinner with the family while we share laughter and play with the children. These mixed signals puts a single lady like myself in an awkward position. Recently I started working on a project with a few people which involved emailing and phoning members of the team. One of the team members is married. His wife isn't active and shows no interest in being part of our team. When I do phone, I get the wife first. After hearing about her week and what she cooked for the day, she gives me the "all-clear" to speak to the untouchable husband on speaker phone. I know because I hear my echo sometimes and a cough or two from the wife. The issue becomes even more intense when you are speaking to a married Sheikh. It's almost impossible to go directly to the Sheikh without going through a filter of wives, daughters or sisters. Suddenly our Sheikh screen who could consult him on spiritual matters. By the time the wife or female relative delivers the answer, it's tainted by the individual's own thoughts and opinions. Is that really fair? Who has the training anyways, isn't it the Sheikh? I wonder sometimes, what people expect to happen from a brief encounter at a dinner party or a focused phone conversation. Will a husband from the first glance dump his family and fall for a single, much younger girl? Where is trust, faith and fear of God? I believe Islam established a fine system where we can all safely interact without need of awkwardness. We can–as slaves of Allah–maintain our piety while serving our respected communities. We need to start trusting ourselves more and overcoming these barriers created by thousands of years worth of cultural baggage. As a woman in my society, I play many roles. Sometimes that role might include interaction with the untouchable married species. I will not have someone's insecurity deter my efforts to better my community. Not all single ladies are husband snatchers, we're on your side. ------------------------------------ ======================= Milis Wanita Muslimah Membangun citra wanita muslimah dalam diri, keluarga, maupun masyarakat. Situs Web: http://www.wanita-muslimah.com ARSIP DISKUSI : http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wanita-muslimah/messages Kirim Posting mailto:wanita-muslimah@yahoogroups.com Berhenti mailto:wanita-muslimah-unsubscr...@yahoogroups.com Milis Keluarga Sejahtera mailto:keluarga-sejaht...@yahoogroups.com Milis Anak Muda Islam mailto:majelism...@yahoogroups.com This mailing list has a special spell casted to reject any attachment ....Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wanita-muslimah/ <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wanita-muslimah/join (Yahoo! ID required) <*> To change settings via email: mailto:wanita-muslimah-dig...@yahoogroups.com mailto:wanita-muslimah-fullfeatu...@yahoogroups.com <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: wanita-muslimah-unsubscr...@yahoogroups.com <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
