Nisam imala pametnija posla pa sam sastavila sve
delice koje ste poslali u celinu pa evo (za
sada)kompletne verzije!
Dakle, princeza zarobljena u zamku koji cuva zmaj.
Dolazi nas protagonista...
GRIND METAL:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely
undecipherable
for about 2 mintues and then leaves...
POWER METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn,
escapes from the
dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an
enchanted forest
TRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the
princes and
fucks her....... easy and quick
FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing
accordions, violins,
flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon
falls asleep (from
all the dancing) protagonist leaves without the
princess
HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills
the dragon, drinks
some beers and fucks the princess
VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon
with his migthy
axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death,
steals the castle
and burns the place before he leaves
DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the
princess and
kills her, then leaves
BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon
and impales it
in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the
princess, drinks her
blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he
impales the
deflowered princess
GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads
his guts in the
front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills
her....then he fucks
again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats
her guts, fucks
the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and
fucks it for the
last time
DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon
and thinks that
he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits
suicide....the
dragon eats his body and the princess as well
PROGRESIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo
for 26 minutes,
the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the
protagonist arrives to
the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the
techniques
learned in the last year of the conservatory... the
princess escapes,
and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist
INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes
an obscene
gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of
fairy tale land by
security guards.
GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the
guy's appearance and
lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and
tries to paint the
castle in a beautiful pink color.
> CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home from church
and sings a mushy power
ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him
and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is
immediately converted, and when the princess wants to
"thank" the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I
don't believe in having sex before marriage."
* BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred
brave footman, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors
and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a
bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets
bored.
* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and
attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death
when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
* EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how
hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love
with him, He gets eaten. The princess is very happy,
because he was a whiny fag anyway.
* GRUNGE
The protagonist doesn't get eaten by the dragon
because he stinks too much from not washing his hair
in months. The princess won't go near him either, and
he ends up dying on the town hall steps with the other
mosha's due to the over consumption of white cider.
* POP-PUNK
The dragon can't eat the protagonist because he can't
catch him because he keeps bouncing up and down. The
princess won't f*ck him either, because he likes ska.
POWER METAL: He arrives on a mighty steed wielding an
enchanted sword.... slays the dragon, rescues the
princess and makes her his queen. The bards continue
to write songs about his exploits to this day.
POWER METAL: the trend representative arrives in the
castle riding a
pegasus, cowardly avoiding the dragon, saves the
princess and then fly
away to have sex.
TRUE METAL: This hero arrives to the castle, faces the
dragon and defeats
it in a rough battle with his sword. Has sex with the
princess all covered
with the dragon's blood
Tr00 Metal: The protagonist arrives on his valliant
LEATHER steed with his Manowar tee-shirt! He slays the
dragon with all his might, he finds the princess, asks
her "What's the best fucking music on the planet?",
she says "60s rock," aghast he chants a spell and
sends her to an eternal burning in the flames of HEAVY
METAAAAAAAL!
GOTHIC METAL: The princess in a velvet costume starts
singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duett
by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the
flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently
scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to
death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity
SPEED METAL: Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is
confused, someones screaming weird stuff, princess
realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess
are still looking for the one who did this.
NU METAL: (we all hate this ... don't you?) he gets to
the castle bragging about his fighting abilities. The
dragon laughs and gets the sh*t
out of this poor 15 year older. The boy looses in
shame and runs out into
the castle, meets the princess and talks to her about
his disgraceful
childhood, the princess slaps him on his face and he
leaves crying going
back home to record a "best of" cd
CLASSIC ROCK AND ROLL: Arrives on a motor bike smoking
some pot and offers a bit to the dragon who happened
to be his friend, then he sleeps in a tent with the
princess in the bottom of the garden and after much
sex,
loads of drugs and Rock 'n' Roll he chokes in with his
own vomit and dies
PUNK: (This one's the very best cowards) Throws a rock
to the dragon and
runs away, the dragon burns his mohican hairstyle and
he writes the A symbol of anarchy on the castle's
wall. He meets the princess and grosses her up with
his cheap vodka breath. The princess dies and the
punky takes over the castle and sets a punk store.
HARD ROCK: This one arrives in a red 56er Cadillac
with two big-boobed blonde girls drinking a Jack
Daniels bottle. Kills the dragon with a knife and
makes up an orgy with the blonde girls and the
princess.
THE HIP HOP WHIGGER: (This one must be the most hated
by us... isn't he?) Gets there jiving and talking in
ibonics and "singing" "Snoop Dogg" shit and his
ghettoness and stench scares the dragon off. Meets the
princess and jumps her to steal her goods to buy some
weed and glue to sniff.
THE DEMOCRAT HIPPIE: Gets there fucking the dragon
around about being an imperialist lizard and that it's
a black gold exploiter, throws some molotov bombs at
it and kills it. Then the pigs (police) get to the
place and get the shit out of the hippie, they arrest
him and he refuses to save the princess because she's
part of the oligarchy.
BOY BAND DUDE: Gets there but the dragon tells him to
record an album coz he sings good, he gets the hell
out of the place and records his shity stuff. He tells
the press he's a virgin, but later he kisses Michael
Jackson and later on he marries Britney Spears's fan
club president
Metallica Fan - The protagonist sees the Dragon, does
NOT fight him but instead threatens to sue him, the
fearful Dragon lets him in, he sees the princess, he
does not say anything to her but instead looks for her
chest of gold, steals it, and runs away.
Jazzy;-)
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