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Life & Times / People / Article Ade Mardiyati Converting for Love In Indonesia, after a non-Muslim dates a Muslim for some time there is usually a question — coming either from the Muslim partner and family, or simply posed by society, of whether the non-Muslim will convert to Islam in order to be able to tie the knot. Islamic law states that a Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim, and Indonesian law requires that Muslims be married in the religion, not in a civil ceremony. Couples of differing beliefs have to go elsewhere — commonly to Australia, Singapore or Hong Kong, to register their marriages. Those non-Muslims who don’t want religion to separate them from their chosen one begin the process of conversion, leading to a mosque where they will proclaim “ ashadu an la ilaha ilallah, wa ashadu anna muhammadan rasulullah” ( I believe there is none but Allah and that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah). Records kept at Sunda Kelapa Grand Mosque in South Jakarta show that since 1993, more than 15,000 non-Muslims converted to Islam there. “Most of them said they decided to convert because they wanted to find the true path,” said Anwar Sujana of the mosque’s conversion department, “but there were also many who bluntly said they had to convert so they could marry their Muslim partners.” Australian Gary Dean is one of the latter, having converted to Islam in March 1998 in order to marry a Muslim woman he met while living in Yogyakarta. “Basically it was important for her and her family, and it was completely unimportant for me,” the 51-year-old said. Although his conversion was solely so he could marry his girlfriend, Dean studied to be a “full-time” Muslim, including lessons on how to perform sholat, the Islamic ritual prayer, and wudhu, the ritual bathing required before prayer . He said he considered it important that he at least knew the technicalities involved in being a Muslim, although he does not perform the compulsory prayers five times a day. His reason for converting, he wrote in a journal entry from the time, was “to make myself more socially acceptable and accessible to my in-laws.” His wife knew his reasoning but she did not make a fuss about it. Eating pork was not something I was really keen on anyway, so it wasn’t really a great sacrifice Gary Dean “Her father, fortunately, is Islam kejawen [Islam tinted with Javanese syncretism], so he is much more tolerant,” he said. Dean said that converting to Islam had not changed his life noticeably, as his pre-Muslim lifestyle was not very different. Even eating only halal food was not a big adjustment for him. “Eating pork was not something I was really keen on anyway, so it wasn’t really a great sacrifice,” he said. Keiichi Hayashida, an engineer from Japan, gave up more, literally and figuratively, to marry Sri Wahyuni, or Yuni. He said he did not consider the possibility of having to convert to Islam when he started dating Yuni, a co-worker, in 1996. “I didn’t really think about the difficulties,” the 45-year-old said. “My attitude at that time was like ‘let’s just see how things go.’ ” It was not until they decided to marry that Yuni told him what would first be required. “If I wanted to marry her, I had to become Muslim,” he said, “and to become Muslim, I had to be circumcised.” Anwar of Sunda Kelapa mosque said Muslim clerics differed on the need for those converting to Islam to be circumcised. “Some say it is compulsory, others say it is a sunnah [not compulsory but strongly suggested],” he said. “But here [at Sunda Kelapa mosque] we consider it compulsory, so anyone who wishes to convert here should have been circumcised.” Hayashida, who was born into the Shinto religion, converted to Islam in January 1997, one month before his marriage. He admitted that was his only reason at the time. His family in Japan were pleased with the outcome. “My family said I was lucky to finally have a wife,” he said, with a laugh. “They said I was old.” Since becoming Muslim, he now knows a little about religion, something he had never considered before. Unlike Dean, Hayashida had to change his lifestyle as some things he liked are forbidden in Islam. “I used to drink beer and eat pork, now I don’t anymore,” he said. He also feels that he is becoming a better Muslim as he tries to set an example for his daughter, 11, and son, 8, including observing the mandatory five prayers a day. “I intend to go to Mecca to perform the hajj,” he said. “But beforehand, I really need to improve myself as a Muslim.” Despite having lived her entire life in Indonesia, Catholic-born Wahyuni Widowati, known as Wowik, said she had no respect for Islam before she began dating a Muslim man. She considered the religion to be radical and viewed its followers as using violence to defend their beliefs. Her boyfriend asked her if she was willing to convert to Islam as their relationship developed, and she was not. After a long discussion, they decided it was acceptable to have a marriage of mixed religions. However, out of curiosity, Wowik decided to learn more about Islam. There were two things she wanted to know, she said. “First, despite its bad image, why does this religion grow rapidly, especially in Western countries?” Wowik said she asked herself at the time. “Then, who is Muhammad and what is this religion he was struggling to spread?” She began to read books on the subject and talk to Muslim friends. Two years later, she studied Islam intensively for three weeks with a Muslim cleric, then converted in July 2007. Her family, who are devout Catholics, strongly disapproved of her decision and would not accept the reasons she gave them. She persistently told them that Islam was what she believed in, and that she thought it would make her a better person. “It was just a problem with communication. My family finally accepted it,” she said. Wowik and her boyfriend were married in August of last year and are expecting their first child in July. She said she tries to be a good Muslim by praying five times a day, observing puasa, or fasting, during Ramadan and regularly paying zakat — money that is given to the poor. Her life feels much more peaceful and comfortable now, she said. “When you know your feet stand on something firm, that’s when you know you are safe.” http://thejakartaglobe.com/home/article/10576.html _________________________________________________________________ Windows Live™ Hotmail®:…more than just e-mail. http://windowslive.com/explore?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_t2_hm_justgotbetter_explore_022009
