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Friday 17 October 2008 (18 Shawwal 1429) The first marriage Adil Salahi | Arab News When the prospect of marrying Khadijah was put to Muhammad (peace be upon him) by her intimate friend Nufaysah bint Munyah, he expressed his interest straightaway. Nufaysah informed Khadijah who then sent him a message asking him to come and see her. She said to him: "Cousin, (she used this term in the widest sense, since she was a very distant cousin of the Prophet. Their ancestry did not join until the fifth grandparent.) I admire you because of your good position among your people, your honesty and good manners, and because you are a man of your word." She then made her proposal that they should get married. Muhammad (peace be upon him) was very pleased and went to inform his uncles, who were also very pleased with such a marriage. Muhammad went with his uncles to meet Khadijah's uncle, Amr ibn Asad. Abu Talib spoke on behalf of his nephew. He said: "This nephew of mine, Muhammad ibn Abdullah, is without peers in his nobility of character and descent. If he is not wealthy, wealth is only something accidental. Money comes and goes, and many a wealthy man becomes poor. He will certainly have a great future. He is proposing marriage to your honorable daughter, Khadijah. He is giving her a dowry of such-and such." Amr ibn Asad did not hesitate to make his acceptance clear. The marriage was then concluded at a dowry of 20 young camels. A grand wedding then followed, with a number of sheep and camels slaughtered to feed the guests. One of them came from a distant place in the desert. That was Halimah, the Prophet's wet nurse who breast-fed him and took care of him for the first four years of his life. She came specially to attend his wedding. When she was about to leave, Khadijah gave her a generous gift, forty sheep to take home. It is commonly held by Muslims throughout the world that there was a big gap in age between the newly married couple, Muhammad being only 25 and Khadijah 40. This cannot be taken for granted. In fact it should be rejected. To start with, the Arabs at the time did not keep any sort of time record. Indeed they did not have a calendar by which to date events. They dated from whatever major event took place in their region. Thus, the Prophet is said to have been born in the year of the elephant, referring to the failed attempt by Abrahah to destroy the Kaaba, marching to Makkah at the head of a large army accompanied by a number of elephants. Khadijah gave Muhammad (peace be upon him), her third husband, six children over a period of ten years. This makes clear that she was in the prime of her reproductive life. It is well known that this is between 18 and 35. While many women give birth after 40, it is extremely unlikely that a woman bears so many children after this age. When we look at other reports of Khadijah's age, we find that she is stated to have been 25, 30, 35 and 45. The last should be discounted straightaway. Abdullah ibn Abbas, the Prophet's cousin, who is considered to have been the most learned among the companions of the Prophet, states that she was 28 and not a day older.