So you want to visit Belgrade…
Belgrade has been getting a lot of positive press recently as a great tourist
destination. As Westerners begin to flock to Serbia’s capital city to
experience the food, culture and the amazing night life here’s a Buzzfeed guide
to help you avoid the most common mistakes tourists make when visiting ‘The
White City’.
2. Mistake number 1: Drinking too much Šljivovica
View this image ›Don’t drink ethanol kidsEver had a burning sensation
when you pee? Always wanted to know what it would feel like to have that same
exact sensation in your throat? Well then its probably a good time to introduce
yourself to Serbia’s favourite moonshine: ŠljivovicaBrewed up in bathtubs
across the land, Šljivovica is a plum brandy that shares a similar burning
quality to drinking pure ethanol. Handle with care. Three or four of these bad
boys and you’re going to be partying solo. In your bed. Surrounded by vomit.
3. Mistake number 2: Opening a window
View this image ›No one told Nick Cage about promajaPromaja, is a
infamous wives tale drilled into all Serbian’s by their grandmothers.The
superstition states that if you stand in a cross breeze you WILL catch the flu
and you WILL die. As such, even in 30 degree heat on a non air conditioned bus,
Serbians will not take kindly to you opening windows. The upside to this is
that during the Summer Belgraders don’t have to pay for expensive sauna
memberships. They just jump on a bus across town and sweat out all of last
nights Šljivovica for free.
4. Mistake number 3: Not enjoying onion
View this image ›A tasty Serbian snackIf you don’t enjoy onion,
you’re going to have a bad time in Belgrade as it comes with everything.You
must learn to love onion when visiting and consume it for every meal. Breakfast
onion, onion elevenses, midnight onion, dessert onion… all viable choices. By
the end of your stay you’ll be munching on onions like they’re Granny Smiths.
5. Mistake number 4: Saying anything negative about Novak Djokovic
View this image ›In Serbia the two step is actually called the Djoko
stepNovak Djokovic is a national hero. As such, it is a wise idea to not
mention the words ‘Wimbledon’ and ‘2013’ in the same sentence during your stay
here in Belgrade. Doing so is considered an act of treason and you will be
detained, force fed onions and made to watch Serbian soap operas until you
admit Novak is the best tennis player that has ever lived.To keep you out of
trouble, here is a detailed guide to Serbia’s hierarchy:1) God
2) Nicola Tesla
3) Novak Djokovic
4) Onion
5) Everything else
6. Mistake number 5: Paying for public transport
View this image ›Did that scab just tap in his busplus?There seems to
be an unwritten rule in Belgrade that commuters NEVER pay for buses. Just how
the public transport system still functions is an economic mystery, but it is
advisable to never tap in your bus pass.Those who make the mistake of tapping
in will trigger a loud BEEP alerting all other travellers that you have just
paid for your journey. For the rest of the trip you’ll be treated to piercing
stares similar to those you’d experience by crossing the picket line at a
Thatcher era coal mine.
7. Mistake number 6: Visiting a poser splav
View this image ›‘I’m super edgy’Splavs are floating river clubs open
during the Summer months in Belgrade. Most tourists make the mistake of
visiting the well publicised splavs where people stand around tables in silence
drinking expensive import beer and staying as far away from the dance floor as
possible. If you look around you’ll find loads of smaller splavs and kafanas
that are full of Belgraders having a good time. Forget about the expensive
import beer and get down and dirty dancing on tables with real Belgraders. Just
don’t expect the party to finish until the sun comes up.
8. Mistake number 7: Thinking rollerskating is ‘gay’
View this image ›Ladies…If you visit Belgrade’s popular public park
Ada Ciganlija, you’ll discover a world where rollerskating never became uncool.
Hundreds of people skate around the lake on weekends and weeknights without
having their sexuality questioned.In Serbia, you don’t have to be gay to enjoy
a good old 90’s roll around. This is Europe. Men greet each other with a kiss,
beer is served with a head and people enjoy rolling about on eight wheels.
Embrace it.
9. Mistake 8: Standing near a window on New Years Eve
View this image ›Come to think of it, Texans and Belgraders share
many similar qualitiesSerbians enjoy spending New years drinking homemade
moonshine and shooting their rifles directly out of their windows in
celebration. This works fine in the countryside, but in the high rise flats of
New Belgrade it can get a little hairy. Probably best to party away from the
windows on New Years.
10. COME VISIT US!
Belgrade is a great city packed full with friendly people, great culture and an
unrivalled supply of onions. Check out the video below for a little taste of
Belgrade. We’ll expect to see you soon.If you want to find out more about
Belgrade check out the travel wiki here or join The Belgrade Foreign Visitors
Club on facebook.And remember: Onion is love. Onion is life. youtube.com
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