http://www.arabnews.com/?page=13§ion=0&article=78936&d=10&m=3&y=2006
Thursday, 9, March, 2006 (08, Safar, 1427)
The Spinster Problem
Mandal Al-Qabaa, Al-Jazirah
Spinster is an ugly word. It upsets many people and so they avoid using
it to refer to any woman, no matter what the circumstances. Some women even
agree to marry, regardless of the man's abilities or character, simply to
escape being called a spinster. The word is not associated with any particular
age though wealth, beauty and social status may save some girls from being
described as spinsters even if they are well past what is considered the normal
age for marriage.
There are different reasons for a girl not marrying. She might spend a
great deal of time involved with her education or career and lose track of her
age until she reaches the age that she is called a spinster. Or maybe, she had
her own reasons for refusing the men who asked for her hand, preferring to wait
for a better offer. There might also be family problems. Maybe the young woman
is supporting her family or taking care of her disabled parents.
The last reason I can think of is all the changes taking place in society
these days. In earlier times, a girl married her cousin or a relative but that
is no longer the case. Young men propose to women from outside their families
and sometimes even from outside the country. In addition, the expenses of
marriage are greater than ever before. And in the end, delaying marriage
doesn't harm the man as much as it harms the woman.
Are there any solutions? Yes, perhaps. For example, group marriage
ceremonies which provide a wedding at the same time for more than 100 couples
is the solution to reduce expenses.
A girl must wait until the right person asks to marry her but once the
offer is made, she must think carefully before making her decision. She
shouldn't waste time expecting this or wishing for that. According to a Hadith,
if a man who is religious and a person of integrity asks for your daughter,
marry her to him. The family should consider what's best for the girl - and not
what is best for them.
On the other hand, I must speak to the women who feel they have missed or
are about to miss the marriage train: Don't panic. Submit to Allah because He
controls all. Don't worry because what doesn't kill you will make you stronger.
Practice your hobbies, work, study and participate in charity work. Unmarried
women can always shift their motherly emotions to the millions of children in
orphanages. Adoption could also be a possible solution. People will never
object to a caring female who wants to love and pamper their children.
A woman is a sister, a wife and a daughter. Women are the source of life
as Allah created them and their presence in life is appealing. They provide
psychological and social security for their families and children. Young men,
please don't neglect women and do what you can to save them from spinsterhood.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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