AN ISLAMIC PERCEPTION
There
was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose parents
emphasized for him to get married. They had seen so many marriage proposals, and
he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was becoming a
little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in mind.
However
every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would
always say "she's not the one!" The young man only wanted a girl who
was religious and practicing. (This was hard to find). However one
evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was
religious and practicing.
On that evening, the young man and
girl were left to talk and ask each other question (as one would
expect). The young man, being a gentleman that, he was allowed, young
lady to ask first.
Young girl asked the young man so many
questions. She asked about his life, his education, his friends, his
family, his habits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his time
pass, his experiences, his shoe size and his likes and dislikes.
Basically everything!
And
the young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring and
politely with a smile. Young girl took up nearly all of the time, over
an hour and felt bad and asked the young man do you have any questions?
Young man said, "Yes, I only have 3 questions... Young girl thought, wow, only
3 questions okay, go ahead and shoot.
Young man's first question was:“Who do you love the most in the world, someone
who's love nothing would ever overcome?"
She said: "This is an easy question! Answer to your question is my mother".
Young man smiled and asked second question: "You said: that you read a lot of
Qur'an, could you tell me which Surahs you know the meaning of?"
Hearing
this she went red and embarrassed and said: "I do not know the meaning
of any yet, but I am hoping to learn soon Inshallah. I have just been a
bit busy".
The third question the young man asked was:“I have been approached for my hand
in marriage, by girls that are lot prettier than you, why should I marry you?"
Hearing
this, the young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with
fury and said: "I do not want to marry this man he is insulting
my beauty and intelligence”. And the young man and his parents were
once again, left without an agreement of marriage. This time, the young
man's parents were really angry and said: "What did you do to anger
that young girl, the family was so nice and pleasant, and they were
religious like you wanted. What did you ask the girl? Tell us!"
Young man said: "Firstly I asked her, who do you love the most? She said, her
mother". The parents said: "So, what is wrong with that?"
Young
man said, "No one is Muslim, until he loves Allah (SWT) and
His Messenger more than anyone else in the world. If a woman loves
Allah (SWT) and Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAWW) more than
anyone, she will love me and respect me and stay faithful to me,
because of that love and fear for Allah (SWT). And we can share this
love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty".
Young man said: "Then I asked, you read a lot of Holy Qur'an, can
you tell me the meaning of any Surah? And she said no, because
I haven't had time yet. So I remembered a saying that, "All humans are
dead except those who have knowledge ... And all those who have
knowledge are asleep, except those who do good deeds... And those who
do good are deceived, except those who are sincere ... And those who
are sincere are always in a state of worry (for others)."
"She
has lived 20 years on this earth and not found any time, to seek
knowledge. Why would I marry a woman, who does not know her rights and
responsibilities and
what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because
the woman is the Madrasah (school) and the best of teachers. And a
woman, who has no time for Allah (SWT), will not have time for her
husband".
"The
third question I asked her was, that a lot of girls, prettier than her,
had approached me for marriage, why should I choose her? That is why
she stormed off, getting angry".
Young
man's parents said: "That is a horrible thing to say. Why would you do
such a thing; we are going back there to apologize".
Young
man said: "I said this on purpose, to test whether she could control
her anger. Holy Prophet Muhammad said "Do not get angry, do not get
angry, do not get angry" repeatedly when asked how to become
pious, because anger is from Satan".
"If a woman cannot
control her anger with a stranger she just met, do you think she will
be able to control it with her husband?"
Moral of the Story:
The moral of this story is, a marriage is based on: Knowledge not looks,
Practice not preaching, Forgiveness not anger, Spiritual love not lust and
compromise!
One
should look for a person who has love for Allah (SWT) and
his Messenger; has knowledge of the deen (religion), and can act upon
it; and can control her anger; and the most important and crucial
factor is that she be willing to compromise.
And it goes both ways, so women seeking a man, should look for the same things.
May
Allah (SWT) make every marriage a success and let us create Love for
Allah and his Messenger so that Allah (SWT) can bless us, and create
love in our lives.
Prophet Muhammad (saww) said: "There is no better structure found in Islam
other than marriage".
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