Knowing that some of you have an engineering background I thought that some may enjoy this.
David
In a message dated 9/11/2003 11:10:54 PM Pacific Daylight Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
>
>
>>>>>Understanding Engineers - Take One
>>>>>
>>Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
>>"Where did you get such a great bike?"
>>>>>
>>The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
>>minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
>>She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,
>'Take
>>what you want.'"
>>>>>
>>The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
>>clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
>>>>>
>>>>>-----------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>>>>>
>>To the optimist, the glass is half full.
>>To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
>>To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
>>>>>
>>>>>--------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>Understanding Engineers - Take Three
>>>>>
>>A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
>>particularly slow group of golfers.
>>>>>
>>The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been
>>waiting for fifteen minutes!"
>>>>>
>>The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
>ineptitude!"
>>>>>
>>The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word
>with
>>him."
>>>>>
>>He said, "Hi, George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're
>>rather slow, aren't they?"
>>>>>
>>The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind
>>firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire
>>last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
>>>>>
>>The group fell silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad.
>>I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
>>>>>
>>The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
>>buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
>>>>>
>>The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
>>>>>
>>>>>------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>Understanding Engineers - Take Four
>>>>>
>>What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
>>>>>
>>Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
>>>>>-------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>Understanding Engineers - Take Five
>>>>>
>>The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>>>>>
>>The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
>>>>>
>>The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
>>>>>
>>The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
>>>>>
>>>>>--------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>Understanding Engineers - Take Six
>>>>>
>>Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
>>possible designers of the human body.
>>>>>
>>One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
>>>>>
>>Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
>>has many thousands of electrical connections."
>>>>>
>>The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil
>>engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a
>recreational
>>area?"
>>>>>
>>>>>---------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>>>>>
>>Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
>>>>>
>>Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
>features
>>yet.
>>>>>
>>>>>-------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
>>>>>
>>An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to
>>him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
>>He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
>>>>>
>>The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
>>into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
>>>>>
>>The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned
>it
>>to the pocket.
>>>>>
>>The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
>>princess, I'll stay wi th you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
>>>>>
>>Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
>>his pocket.
>>>>>
>>Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
>>beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
>>anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
>>>>>
>>The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
>>girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
--- Begin Message ---
> > > > Understanding Engineers - Take One
> > > >
> Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
> "Where did you get such a great bike?"
> > > >
> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
> minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
> She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take
> what you want.'"
> > > >
> The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
> clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
> > > >
> > > > -----------------------------------------------
> > > >
> Understanding Engineers - Take Two
> > > >
> To the optimist, the glass is half full.
> To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
> To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
> > > >
> > > > --------------------------------------------------
> > > >
> Understanding Engineers - Take Three
> > > >
> A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
> particularly slow group of golfers.
> > > >
> The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been
> waiting for fifteen minutes!"
> > > >
> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
> > > >
> The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word
with
> him."
> > > >
> He said, "Hi, George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're
> rather slow, aren't they?"
> > > >
> The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind
> firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire
> last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
> > > >
> The group fell silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad.
> I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
> > > >
> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
> buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
> > > >
> The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
> > > >
> > > > ------------------------------------------------------------
> > > >
> Understanding Engineers - Take Four
> > > >
> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
> > > >
> Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
> > > > -------------------------------------------------------------
> > > >
> Understanding Engineers - Take Five
> > > >
> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
> > > >
> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
> > > >
> The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
> > > >
> The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
> > > >
> > > > --------------------------------------------------------
> > > >
> Understanding Engineers - Take Six
> > > >
> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
> possible designers of the human body.
> > > >
> One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
> > > >
> Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
> has many thousands of electrical connections."
> > > >
> The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil
> engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational
> area?"
> > > >
> > > > ---------------------------------------------------------
> > > >
> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
> > > >
> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
> > > >
> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features
> yet.
> > > >
> > > > -------------------------------------------------------------
> > > >
> Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
> > > >
> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to
> him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
> > > >
> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
> into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
> > > >
> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
> to the pocket.
> > > >
> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
> princess, I'll stay wi th you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
> > > >
> Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into
> his pocket.
> > > >
> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
> beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
> anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
> > > >
> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
> girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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--- End Message ---
