[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it,
I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so
I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her
new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for
awhile... You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
So I ordered some new clubs.
