E since I had become the inspector of her household, and had a better
opportunity of calculating the inequality that subsisted between her
income and her expenses. I even date from this period the beginning of
that inclination to avarice which I have ever since been sensible of. I
was never foolishly prodigal, except by intervals; but till then I was
never concerned whether I had much or little money. I now began to pay
more attention to this circumstance, taking care of my purse, and
becoming mean from a laudable motive; for I only sought to insure Madam
de Warrens some resources against that catastrophe which I dreaded the
approach of. I feared her creditors would seize her pension or that it
might be discontinued and she reduced to want, when I foolishly imagined
that the trifle I could save might be of essential service to her; but
to accomplish this, it was necessary I should conceal what I meant to
make a reserve of; for it would have been an awkward circumstance, while
she was perpetually driven to expedients, to have her know that I
hoarded money. Accordingly, I sought out some hiding-place, where I laid
up a few louis, resolving to augment this stock from time to time, till
a convenient opportunity to lay it at her feet; but I was so incautious
in the choice of my repositories, that she always discovered them, and,
to convince me that she did so, changed the louis I had concealed for a
larger sum in different pieces of coin. Ashamed of these discoveries, I
brought back to the common purse my little treasure, which she never
failed to lay out in clothes, or other things for my use, such as a
silver hilted sword, watch, etc. Being convinced that I should never
succeed in accumulating money, and that what I could save would furnish
but a very slender res

<<inline: disfavorers.jpg>>

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