early morning humor.. for you boys and girls..


>     KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:  To get to the other side.
>     
>     PLATO:  For the greater good.
>     
>     ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
>     
>     KARL MARX:  It was an historical inevitability.
>     
>     TIMOTHY LEARY:  Because that's the only trip the establishment would 
>     let it take.
>     
>     SADDAM HUSSEIN:  This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were 
>     quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
>     
>     RONALD REAGAN:  I forget.
>     
>     CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:  To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
>     
>     HIPPOCRATES:  Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
>     
>     ANDERSEN CONSULTING:  Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road 
>     was threatening its dominant market position.  The chicken was faced 
>     with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies 
>     required for the newly competitive market.  Andersen Consulting, in a 
>     partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by 
>     rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation 
>     processes.  Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped 
>     the chicken use its skills,  methodologies, knowledge, capital and 
>     experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in 
>     support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. 
>     Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts 
>     and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in 
>     the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of 
>     meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both 
>     tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in 
>     order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully 
>     architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework 
>     across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.  The meeting 
>     was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful 
>     environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built 
>     upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with 
>     the chicken's mission, vision, and core values.  This was conducive 
>     towards the creation of a total business integration solution. 
>     Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more 
>     successful.

>     
>     LOUIS FARRAKHAN:  The road, you see, represents the black man.  The 
>     chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him 
>     down.
>     
>     MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:  I envision a world where all chickens will 
>     be free to cross roads without having their motives called into 
>     question.
>     
>     MOSES:  And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the 
>     chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road."  And the chicken crossed the 
>     road, and there was much rejoicing.
>     
>     FOX MULDER:  You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many 
>     more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
>     
>     RICHARD M. NIXON:  The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the 
>     chicken did NOT cross the road.
>     
>     MACHIAVELLI:  The point is that the chicken crossed the road.  Who 
>     cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive 
>     there was.
>     
>     JERRY SEINFELD:  Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean, why doesn't 
>     anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking 
>     around all over the place, anyway?
>     
>     FREUD:  The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken 
>     crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
>     
>     BILL GATES:  I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which 
>     will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important 
>     documents, and balance your checkbook.
>     
>     OLIVER STONE:  The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the 
>     road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, 
>     whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
>     
>     DARWIN:  Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally 
>     selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross 
>     roads.
>     
>     EINSTEIN:  Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved 
>     beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
>     
>     BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
>     
>     RALPH WALDO EMERSON:  The chicken did not cross the road .. it 
>     transcended it.
>     
>     ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die.  In the rain.
>     
>     COLONEL SANDERS:  I missed one?
>
>  TO: BOS-MAIL / LONDON, MAIL-LISTS
> 
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