early morning humor.. for you boys and girls.. > KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. > > PLATO: For the greater good. > > ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. > > KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability. > > TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would > let it take. > > SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were > quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. > > RONALD REAGAN: I forget. > > CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. > > HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. > > ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road > was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced > with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies > required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a > partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by > rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation > processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped > the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and > experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in > support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. > Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts > and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in > the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of > meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both > tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in > order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully > architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework > across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting > was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful > environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built > upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with > the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive > towards the creation of a total business integration solution. > Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more > successful. > > LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The > chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him > down. > > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will > be free to cross roads without having their motives called into > question. > > MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the > chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the > road, and there was much rejoicing. > > FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many > more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? > > RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the > chicken did NOT cross the road. > > MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who > cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive > there was. > > JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't > anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking > around all over the place, anyway? > > FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken > crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. > > BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which > will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important > documents, and balance your checkbook. > > OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the > road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, > whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" > > DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally > selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross > roads. > > EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved > beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. > > BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. > > RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it > transcended it. > > ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. > > COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? > > TO: BOS-MAIL / LONDON, MAIL-LISTS > --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Send administrative requests to [EMAIL PROTECTED]