The results of the 2006 Bulwer Lytton contest can be seen here:
http://www.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2006.htm
Some of my favourites:
"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new
editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or
only five?' - and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this
excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language
in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off,
you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -
well do you, punk?"
It was a dreary Monday in September when Constable Lightspeed came
across the rotting corpse that resembled one of those zombies from
Michael Jackson's "Thriller," except that it was lying down and not
performing the electric slide.
"Send a message back to Command Central on Earth and ask for their
advice, which we will be able receive immediately even at this great
distance, thanks to the ingenious manipulation of coherent radiation
through a Bose-Einstein condensate and the bizarre influence of the
Aspect effect, which enables us to impart identical properties to
remotely separated photons," Captain Buzz told the feathered Vjorkog
at the comms desk, "and tell them our life-pod is going to explode in
eight seconds."
Herr Professor Doktor Weiss' reputation was made when he conclusively
proved the fraudulency of the Mayan codex that claimed to show that
that ancient people knew the ratio of a circle's circumference to its
diameter to an exactitude unknown until modern times, in his article,
"Bye, Bye, Mesoamerican Pi."
--
((Udhay Shankar N)) ((udhay @ pobox.com)) ((www.digeratus.com))
