Dear Stephanie, What you read might sound like it is about me and not about you and you would be right. But it may also tell you about being in a new place.
Deepa was right when she said it means a lot to be with someone you love. I should know it. I absolutely detested Canada when I arrived but I also met my husband to be in the first month of being here. I received an offer to join FTII(pune film institute) the day after my husband proposed to me and had second thoughts. It took a whole lot of swallowing of pride here to find a job that paid half what i was paid before. The hardest thing to take was the ignorance of people visavis India as it is today. One employer told me that she doesn't like Indians owning shops in tourist locations since they don't represent Canada-this after indians have been living here for 100 years (some older families were connected to Indian independence revolutionaries like Bhagat Singh). there were others who expressed reservations about the quality of software work in India-I could only defend ignorantly as I am not a software engineer nor am i knowledgable about other aspects of that business. Then there is the actual state of the Indian community-Indo-Canadian street gangs, older Sikhs working below minimum wage on farms and being exploited by their own countrymen more often than others, the class consciousness they carry from India and that becomes further entrenched in Canada. Practical difficulties: after 12 years of owning a credit card, i had to restart my entire history all over with a secured credit card just because i didn't have one in Canada. The banks charge you $6 per month for a chequing account - at least I had savings from living in the US, what of those who had just emigrated for the first time? One still finds newspapers that refer to the colonies without even gracing them with their names. Queen Victoria's birthday is a holiday and to be a Canadian citizen requires one to take allegiance to the queen of England. I refuse. To top all that Vancouver has so many homeless people, drug-addicts and the like and so many racists that it makes me sick. The physical beauty of the place and it has a lot of it with mountains, ocean and skies, is still not enough to help me overlook these aspects of living. Even those who are moderate, like my in-laws, have reservations that are mostly just stereotypes, about a place they have never been. yet, i am expected to like Canada just because it is "developed" and feel somehow that I have "arrived". I have told Mike that if he should not be there, i would not be in Canada. but this is the place where Mike is. He is the kindest, most loving husband a girl could ask for. Living, learning and traveling is a joy with him. As a landscape architect job opportunities for him in india are limited unless he starts a private practice. what advantage would he have compared to locals who know the place and environment really well? He is one of those rarities as well-a modest North American. Everytime I come across something else I dislike I try to focus on Mike and all the priceless experiences he has given me. I remind myself that it is what i do that makes my life interesting not the place alone. And I am trying to use my anger and resentment in a neo-Naipaulesque way;-))) so I wish you the very best in your new life in India. To paraphrase my favorite poet Kavafis, may you never "reach India", may your journey be full of excitement, new people, excitement and yes, sometimes danger for the journey itself is your life. And if you feel like sharing your thoughts in person, i will be in Kolkata over New Year. Cheers and happy thoughts. Radhika On Wed, Sep 17, 2008 at 8:33 AM, ss <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > On Wednesday 17 Sep 2008 8:21:59 pm Deepa Mohan wrote: > > On Wed, Sep 17, 2008 at 5:10 PM, ss <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > Having > > > shot my mouth off = perhaps some of the others on silf who came to > india > > > for > > > the first time to stay may be able to give you a better idea. > > > > > > shiv > > > > Shiv! what a great description that is. I yam yimpressed! :) except for > > calling this list silf...you mean, we are all slender and silf-like, or > we > > are silfish? > > > > Deepa. > > Deepa - at 24 Stephanie is a tad older than Pooja (my daughter) and the dad > in > me came pouring out :) > > shiv > > -- Radhika, Y.R. Project Manager, Centering Women project, Sri Lanka International Center for Sustainable Cities 415 - 1788 W. 5th Avenue Vancouver BC Canada
