Its strange that this discussion is about men & women but few women are participating in a discussion which is also about "them" ......
On Tue, Mar 10, 2009 at 6:22 AM, ss <[email protected]> wrote: > Be that as it may, the divorce rates in the West are not necessarily high > merely because of infidelity are they? They are high because divorce laws are > liberal and allow divorce on various gounds other than infidelity. > Incompatibility, cruelty and other factors can lead to divorce. Many Western ...shouldnt they? > There is pressure not to divorce in Indian society and the increasing rates of > divorce are probably not so much related to fidelity as the fact that divorce > is now possible without shaming the woman forever. it is also not a social stigma as it used to be a few decades ago. > The other point is that fidelity is indeed demanded in Hindu marriages - from > the woman. What the man should do is not clearly mentioned. Clearly here is Many papers had nice articles on account of women's day and I think these two from The Hindu are pertinent to the ongoing discussion. http://www.hindu.com/mag/2009/03/08/stories/2009030850190500.htm http://www.hindu.com/mag/2009/03/08/stories/2009030850180500.htm As the articles note, a number of women are choosing to retain their independence than marry because its expected of them. Most women dont wish to provide monthly installments of dowry either and insist on managing their own finances as opposed to meekly handing over their earnings to the husband. Various factors aid them in this decision but you cannot underestimate the change in mindset of the earlier generation and the support they provide, which does have a role to play in their lives today. This is not true for all Indian families though and not every Indian woman is emancipated. Again, women (never mind which class, rich or poor she is) are more self-aware and are less willing to tolerate infidelity/bad relationships today. She has choices and is willing to use them. This is true for women from the lower economic strata of society too, especially if they are the bread-winners supporting an alcoholic abusive husband. This is related to the increased ability of a woman to support themselves financially and face society head-on. OTOH, there are cases of some women who are tolerant of a bad relationship/marriage simply because they cannot bear the thought of the social stigma or dont want to give up the hi-flying lifestyle he offers. They are becoming a rare species in India today. > I think that for India: > 1) The institution of marriage must be protected but not if it is clearly > harmful to man or woman I know there is a whole industry that earns its bread from getting people married :) but why the undue emphasis on the institution of marriage and why should it be protected? Is there any research that has been done to find out the negative effects of not marrying? Recently there was talk of giving a legal status to "live-in" relationships but am not sure of its progress. Simplistically put, Isnt it much better for a kid to grow up in a happy environment with a single parent than have to live with the typical "complete family" where both parents are unhappy. Even the Indian legal system changed the definition of "family" over a decade ago to permit single women to adopt children of either gender. This was later extended to single men who can adopt a male child. IIRC, even school admission forms must now include "mothers name" and cannot deny admission on the basis of the fathers name not being provided. I am not sure how much of this is really in practice as there is no data available publicly. > What really loads the dice against women in india is what is happening in the > West - in which the decadence of the West is being (rightly or wrongly) does that imply that decadence was never prevalent in India ....not even in the BC era? I find that hard to believe. > The future IMO will mean not copying the West. But things must not remain the > same either. Its a fallacy that India is always copying the west. Switzerland granted women voting rights in the 70's while Indian women could vote right after we gained independence. -- .
