This is not funny. Cuts too close to the bone. You are hereby warned to cease and desist.
Indrajit Gupta On Mar 11, 2013, at 9:40 AM, Udhay Shankar N <[email protected]> wrote: > We've discussed this here before (e.g. [1] [2]), but here's another > worthwhile take, from a former colleague at Yahoo! and a recent silklister. > > Thoughts? > > Udhay > > [1] http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silk-list/message/4965 > [2] http://groups.yahoo.com/group/silk-list/message/37925 > > http://blog.mizannethrope.com/post/45039337095/happiness-is-pine-sol-and-clorox-and-like-them-both > > Happiness is Pine Sol and Clorox and Like Them Both, Probably Toxic in > Large Quantities > > Happiness. There are a lot of books written on this topic. I know > because I’ve read them all. ALL of them. This is a matter that mankind > has pursued throughout time. It’s fundamental to our very existence. > It’s what separates us from the beasts of the wild. What is happiness? > How do we get it? If we have it, how do we keep it? Or more precisely, > how do we prevent ourselves from losing it? When we have it, how do we > know we have it? > > I started seeing a therapist when my mother was diagnosed with advanced > stomach cancer. I probably should have started years earlier. Years. > Maybe at birth. One of the first things she asked me was, “What makes > you happy?” I kind of stumbled when she asked that so she rephrased the > question. “Can you tell me a time, recently, when you felt really happy?” > > After sitting there for a moment, I said the first thing that popped > into my head. That’s what you are supposed to do in therapy, right? Not > over-think the question but rather, respond naturally so you reveal your > true self. So I told the unedited, unvarnished, unmitigated truth. Or as > Oprah would say, I told MY truth. So here it is. I am happiest when…. > > “The hour after the cleaning people leave my house. When everything is > clean, orderly, and smells like Pine Sol. That’s when I am happiest.” > > You know you’ve achieved something when your therapist looks a little > puzzled. > > I joke all the time about being OCD. In reality, I do not suffer from > obsessive-compulsive disorder. At least not in a clinically diagnosable > way. I really shouldn’t joke about it because plenty of people really do > have debilitating issues associated with OCD. I am just a freak about > tidiness and thus, my Twitter handle: @clean_freak. > > Many people apparently take me at face value. Ergo, some of my Twitter > followers include: @scrubblingbubble, @cleanercleaning, @abhousekeeping, > @goofoffpro (a cleaning agent, apparently), @acepressurewash, and > @bugoffseatcover. > > I will readily admit that the smell of cleaning products makes me feel, > well, happy. Those same products are probably going to give me brain > cancer. Although to be clear, I’m not sniffing them in open containers > like gasoline or airplane glue. The smell of cleaning products just > gives me a weird feeling of comfort when I’m cleaning or otherwise at > home. Like all things revealed in therapy, this too, can be traced back > to my mother. My very Korean mother. > > Margaret Cho does a great routine about her Korean mother. After her mom > suffered a heart attack, she came to live with Margaret. Her mother told > her about her near-death experience. In broken English, she said to > Margaret, “After I die, my spirit float out my body. I float far, far > away. I go you house. I look down. Ay-gu! Why so messy?” > > And that folks, is probably what my mother is doing right now. Looking > down at my house today and thinking, “Ay-gu! Why so messy?” (Because I > was away on a business trip for 5 days, mom! Don’t judge me!) > > But to get back to my earlier point, what is happiness anyway? I think > my initial response to my therapist hit the nail on the head. Happiness > is not some big, grand destination. Or even some fanciful life-long > journey. It’s the sum of all the little things. For me, it’s > crystallized in that moment of peace and serenity when everything is > just-so. In a house with 3 dogs and 3 kids, it’s rare. It’s the calm > sense of accomplishment I feel when I am getting things done. Not huge > things. Little things. > > I remember when I was in school, I’d get incredibly stressed during > exams. I always thought I’d feel so relieved when they were over. But > the moment I turned in my last test, the feeling of lightness I thought > I’d have never materialized. Or if it did, it was never as uplifting as > I imagined it would be. The quest for happiness seldom results in a > sustainable sense of overwhelming joy. If it comes, it usually lasts > only for a fleeting moment. > > And really, if you felt happy all the time, how would you know what it > is to be happy? > > There is a beautiful passage in The Prophet - > > The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can > contain. > > Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in > the potter’s oven? > > I read that to mean that to truly experience happiness, you must > experience deep sorrow. Which to me, means that you can’t be happy all > the time. It’s not possible and it’s not even desirable. > > Take pleasure in the little things and stop looking for the “HAPPINESS,” > all-caps. Be happy with “happy,” lowercase. And understand that sadness > (or in my case, a messy house, or on a whole different scale, the recent > death of my mother) is what makes knowing happiness possible. > > > > -- > ((Udhay Shankar N)) ((udhay @ pobox.com)) ((www.digeratus.com)) >
