I'm 61 years old, so my 40's were long enough ago that I confuse them sometimes with my youth and sometimes with with my emerging adulthood.
But I have learned a few things over the last 21 years, I think, so I'll append a few observations. I mostly, but not entirely, agree with the NYT starter list. The observation about "charming people" is certainly true and important; in my experience it did take me until I was about 40 to get to the point where I could confidently separate real charming people from narcissists, as sheep from goats. Other observations: * There are, in fact, some adults. They are few, and most people of adult age don't qualify. But such people do exist & are worthy of respect and emulation. Don't be cynical. * Religion is bunk (hat tip to Henry Ford, "History is bunk."). I believed this starting about age 17, but only began to see deep implications of this fact in my 40's. Beware religious tribalism. It's everywhere. * Although religion is bunk, Jesus was right about kindness & empathy, Buddha was right about life being suffering, Judaism is right about the importance of humility and rigorous study in finding out how to comport ourselves. * People who have no sense of connection or obligation to any local community are boring. People who follow Buddha's prescription to avoid suffering by avoiding making attachments are shallow. Buddha is boring. * Beware the "midlife crisis". You're as susceptible to it as anybody. * Don't drink too much. * Although there is no single "American" identity, American self-righteousness and self-regard are real and they are ugly. If you're American, you must actively root them out or you'll miss a lot of life. * Be a rebel once in a while! Break some rules! I mean, don't smash windows on Main Street, but top-post on Silklist once in a while just for that sense of living dangerously! jrs On May 19, 2014, at 12:47 AM, Biju Chacko wrote: > You're only as old as you act. By that definition I'm still a toddler. > > Grey hair and bald patches only matter as much you want them to. > > Sometimes old fogeys are right. Especially if you are the old fogey in > question. > > You're not going to be a billionaire. So what? > > You are racist, sexist, intolerant and otherwise prejudiced -- don't > try to deny it. It doesn't matter -- just as long as it doesn't > influence how you treat people. > > Life is too short for shoe laces. > > -- b > > On Mon, May 19, 2014 at 8:55 AM, Radhika, Y. <[email protected]> wrote: >> I add the following: >> >> it is cool to hang out with oneself. it is not stressful, in fact it is a >> stress reliever. >> >> Now we see ourselves as insignficant but have a better handle on what is >> meaningful. >> >> Incremental and steady work without deadlines (no longer needed since there >> is very little time left) is fantastic. It is a real return to childhood.
