On Wed, Nov 15, 2017 at 6:11 PM, Thaths <[email protected]> wrote:

> On Thu, Nov 16, 2017 at 9:01 AM Radhika, Y. <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > The most important thing I changed my mind about won't change the world
> but
> > it may change my relationship with it. I used to think that I was good
> with
> > children. Hell, no, I just want to be a child.
> >
>
> If you are up for it, could you share more?
>

​R: Almost every thing that I want to do with my son are things that I want
to do better  or overi.e. things left behind in childhood or neglected
because I did not touch them deeply enough. Almost none of that interests
my son and if he obeys, and it is obedience rather than interest, it is to
please me.  ​What interests him are ice hockey, making the bus sound while
riding on local buses, sweets, LEGO and parents who persuade with a bribe
or two rather than an obstinate authoritarian parent. Ergo, I gave it up
and what a relief, it is!

>
>
> > ON other things I changed my mind about:
> > - being Indian I had to be interested in all things Indian (exhausting)
> >
>
> I apologize, but I can't parse that. Are you saying that being an India you
> used to think that you had to be interested in all things India, and you
> have changed your mind about this (i.e., no longer being interested in
> EVERYTHING Indian, but picking and choosing)?
>
> Thaths
> ​A: Yep, Living outside India unfortunately, I engaged in exhausting,
> identity reinforcing behaviour. I am the only member of my family in Canada
> and solitude is here to stay. For example, if I had lived in India and was
> interested in Flamenco, I would never have worried about losing identity or
> not transmitting it. Nothing like having a kid to shine a light on that
> behaviour. So, I have finally let go of being Indian, not being Indian
> enough, not speaking Telegu well, not going to the temple, not taking my
> son to the temple, not reading out to him every Indian book I ever read,
> etc and am happily dancing, singing lovely poems by Borges, listening to
> flamenco music, watching Spanish film and generally allowing a happy
> obsession to take over. YAYAYA! Krishna, samarpayami!
>
>

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