Thanks for sharing this Udhay. I have been a little overwhelmed at how much traction this small anecdote has had on different social media platforms. I had really thought that this was going to be just one of those moments where people who knew me would be as amazed as I was, at the violence which erupted out of me and ended in physical assault. I have long since been an ally and a feminist, and have always thought of myself as a pacifist. But there is something here, the fermenting anger of the #Metoo movement and the consistent outpouring of narratives of sexual abuse, that made me snap in this particular instance.
I also don't think I was doing anything extraordinary here. But Radhika's response (thank you for the support and the sharing -I flinch at the thought of being so precarious that you cannot even sleep in public spaces like flights or trains) has been echoed by many others, who thought that this particular act of putting my body in risk to fight for somebody else who was literally undergoing abuse under my eyes, was a feat worth celebrating. It disheartens me that this is seen as an exception. To me, very honestly, there was no other option. I might not have been slap-easy if I had thought of it more, but that smile he gave me, of being an accomplice, assured that because I was a man, and not related to the woman, I would join in, in his actions and definitely not call him out - I think that is what made me just snap. There are many ways of being an ally. And there are many layers to think through here - intersections of gender, race, sexuality, class, and privilege have all been playing in my head. And I am going to spend quite some time teasing them out, but in the meantime, I am happy to take a stand and take physical action. I hope that this is only a snapshot of what any other wo*man might have done - not necessarily slap, but definitely take a stand and put an end to it. I am processing both what happened and all the responses I am getting to it, but for me, from my early days being trained in feminism, one thing is clear - there is no feminism without action. Words, theories, academia, and updates are all fine, but the proof of the pudding is always going to be in practice. And as Sharmila Rege, one of my first mentors in this space had taught very eloquently, in her work and her life - we need to break ourselves on the very axis of power that empowers us, in order to take the physical risks towards care-making. Everything else is window dressing. Anyway, I am thinking out loud here, and probably rambling, but happy to share some of what is going in my head beyond the stylised anecdotal telling of that facebook post. Warmly, Nishant On Wed, 14 Nov 2018 at 19:09 Radhika, Y. <[email protected]> wrote: > Nishant! Kudos to you for the action and the account. Please excuse this > risque interpretation but you just gave 'apna haath, jagannath' new meaning > and perhaps gave that other not-so-gentlemanly person a lesson or two. > > I have been lucky so far in that regard...but I find myself unable to fall > asleep on planes because I don't like being vulnerable in that way...and > the brain seems to be wired, either by nature or by nature, to be scanning > for danger. > > Radhika >
