I have started editing the file on BB posts and here is a nice little treasure 
already:

Dear   Mr.   Nave,

Some   time   in   the   past,   we   made   an   interesting   determination   
among   a   group of   volunteers   .persons   suffering   from   a   similar   
presentation   as   you state. Our   investigations   substantiated,   
generally,   the   contentions of   Dr.   F. Batmanghelidj   ....to   wit:      
for   every   8   ounce   cup of   coffee,   the   body   requires   32   
ounces   of   plain   water.       Our   volunteer population   almost   to   a 
  person....were   able   to   resume   drinking   coffee without   the   
"previously   attendant"   arthritic   complications-----whenever they   
"scrupulously"   abided   by   the   aforementioned   requirement.   General 
fluids   such   as   fruit   juice,   milk,   etc.,   do   not   qualify   as   
hydrators----in this   case   ONLY   water   does.

Sincerely,       ;   Brooks   Bradley.