> > A FEW LAUGHS!!!!!!!! > > > > > DOCTORS' NOTES ON PATIENT'S CHARTS: (ACTUAL NOTES, UNEDITED!) > > > > > > On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared > > > completely. > > > > > > She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she > > was very hot in bed last night. > > > > > >The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in > > 1993. > > > > > > The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to > > be depressed. > > > > > > Discharge status: Alive but without permission. > > > > > > Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but > > > forgetful. > > > > > > The patient refused an autopsy. > > > > > > The patient has no past history of suicides. > > > > > > Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. > > > > > > Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant > > with only a 40 lb weight gain in the past three days. > > > > > > Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. > > > > > > Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. > > > > > > Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might > > like to work her up. > > > > > > She is numb from her toes down. > > > > > > While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. > > > > > > The skin was moist and dry. > > > > > > Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. > > > > > > Patient was alert and unresponsive. > > > > > > Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. > > > > > > She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, > > until she got a divorce. > > > > > > I saw your patient today, who is still under our Car for physical > > > therapy. > > > > > > Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. > > > > > > The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. > > > > > > The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job > > as a stockbroker instead. > > > > > > Skin: Somewhat pale but present. > > > > > > The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor. > > > > > > Patient was seen by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen > > and I agree. > > > > > > Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. > > > > > > Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
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