Hi list, A little humor to help you relax.
> Subject: UP UP AND AWAY!!! > > Following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline and > control towers from around the world: > > The controller who was working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind > to make a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide > spacing between aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it > costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this > airplane? > > Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four > thousand dollars worth!" > > ~~~~~~~~~~ > > A DC-10 had a exceedingly long roll out after landing with his > approach speed just a little too high. San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, > turn right at the end, if able. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off > of Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport. > > ~~~~~~~~~~ > > It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a Piper Malibu was > being vectored into a long line of airliners in order to land at > Kansas City. > > KC Approach: "Malibu three-two-Charlie, you're following a 727, one > o'clock and three miles." > > Three-two-Charlie: "We've got him. We'll follow him." > > KC Approach: "Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven > o'clock and three miles. Do you have that traffic?" > > Delta 105 (long pause and then in a thick southern drawl): > "Well...I've got something down there. Can't quite tell if it's a > Malibu or a Chevelle, though." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Unknown Aircraft: "I'm f***ing bored!". > > Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself > immediately!!" > > Unknown Aircraft: "I said I was f***ing bored, not f***ing stupid!" > > ~~~~~~~~~~ > > Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7." > > Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure ... by the > way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of > the runway." > > Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on > > > 124.7; did you copy the report from Eastern?" > > Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff roger; and yes, > we copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~ > > O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 Heavy, your traffic is a Fogger, > one o'clock, 3 miles, eastbound." > > United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this ... I've got > that Fogger in sight." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~ > > The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered > lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but how > to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some > amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between > Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign "Speedbird > 206") > after landing: > > Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of > the active runway." > > Ground: "Guten morgen! You vill taxi to your gate!" > > The big British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to > a stop. > > Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know vare you are going?" > > Speedbird 206: "Stand by a moment ground, I'm looking up our gate > location now." > > Ground (with some arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, haff you never > flown to Frankfurt before?!?" > > Speedbird 206 (cooly): "Yes I have, in 1944. In another type of > Boeing. I didn't stop." > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > I was a Pan Am 727 FE waiting for start clearance in Munich, Germany. > > I was listening to the radio since I was the junior crewmember. This > was the conversation I overheard: (I don't recall call signs any > longer) > > Lufthansa: (In German) "Ground, what is our start clearance time?" > > Ground: (In English) "If you want an answer you must speak English." > > Luft: (In English) "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in > Germany. Why must I speak English?" > > Beautiful English Accent: (before ground could answer) "Because you > lost the bloody war! " > > Bless you Bob Lee -- oozing on the muggy shore of the gulf coast [email protected] -- The silver-list is a moderated forum for discussion of colloidal silver. To join or quit silver-list or silver-digest send an e-mail message to: [email protected] -or- [email protected] with the word subscribe or unsubscribe in the SUBJECT line. To post, address your message to: [email protected] Silver-list archive: http://escribe.com/health/thesilverlist/index.html List maintainer: Mike Devour <[email protected]>
