http://www.facimoutreach.org/qa/questions/questions77.htm#Q431
Q #431: I have been studying and trying to practice A Course in Miracles for 13 years and have had moments of peace. Lately, I have noticed that I have a dialogue that goes on inside. For example, I will be in a situation where I suddenly find myself getting ticked off, and before I react, I consciously stop and go into a dialogue of what the Course would say, like "anger is never justified in any form" or "I must have chosen wrongly." That gives me a pause to "think" what to choose. The anger may remain for a while, but I am probably giving it a lot of energy, and then after a while it goes away and I'm more peaceful. That constant dialogue is "hard" on me even though I have had successes. I just don't know whatâs going on.
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altarlight: Just a few side notes (did not read the posted response from facim)...
Some quick metaphysical perspectives, and then of course, my typical main message.
Away to yourself (pertaining to anger toward a person), focus, then concentrate your thoughts and emotional energy toward that person, imagining the very best things that could happen to yourself or anyone you love...happening to them. Do this repetitively and in as many ways as you can think of. Find the time to take some time with this, rather than just giving it a few minutes (and repeat as needed UNTIL YOU NOTICE THE EMOTIONAL SHIFT). At first, and even for some time, this may seem very contrary to your current feelings about them, and actually be something you do not want to do. Do it anyway. After awhile, you may find that it is no longer repulsive, or difficult in that way, but it just sounds like so many hollow words and ideas that could never have any value, and you may find it all boring and seeming not worth your time and trouble. Do it anyway. In fact, increase the intensity and tempo. Eventually (if you do not give up), you will notice a very distinct shift in your emotions and you will find the ball you've been thus pushing uphill, now rolling downhill and picking up momentum, bringing your joyous inner response with it. You will find that you truly DO want them to have these things, and really WOULD like to see them receive them.
Then put it out of your mind and stop concentrating on it at all, and even relax and defocus your mind, letting your attention stretch out in every direction, calmly observing whatever is there (or even what seems to be there). Do this with your eyes open at first, and then close them. Reach outward within...relaxing and without concentration. Do not try to see, hear, or do anything with this (unlike the previous exercise). Realize that your reaching out with your attention is not merely a mental exercise, but is a step toward getting to know that part of yourself that is not local to your dream's definition of you, toward getting to know the infinite self...and as such, is stepping outside of the limited ideas called the little self (which is not so). Be there with yourself a moment and notice yourself. Relax and let even this imagery fade away.
Realize now that this little known territory of yourself is that part you denied, and that is why it seems to be "out there" to a large extent. Realize also that the person you were finding the willingness to care about before (and thus not deny your love toward) is part of that part of you that you are now observing (only without their body imagery and history to support its guilt).
Now come full circle to yourself in a more personal way...the self you are accustomed to thinking of as yourself. Imagine the same things for yourself that you imagined toward the one who got your dander up. Imagine you joyfully sharing with them in the gifts you imagined. Imagine you both relaxing together, defocusing, and reaching outward into all the rest of you...and them...and all. Relax, let this image fade away, leaving but the faint memory of it....and let your intuitive discerning show you that your imagery is in agreement with the truth (even though it does not literally look like those images). Let the lines of demarcation between your dream imagining and that deep foundational reality that truly IS you reaching out to all of infinity, and notice, perhaps somewhere in the back of your mind, almost imperceptible...a tiny spark of light gently glowing with a warm, loving, knowing light that shows you the truth, and sets you free...all of you together, free forever.
And then, what if tomorrow, the anger rumination returns to keep cycling in your mind and emotions again? It's okay. Fear not...and well, what better excuse to do this again as soon as possible.
As you continue to do this, and send to your soul imagery that suggests agreement with your true will (to love all), your soul will multiply this back to you more and more, thus making it easier, more enjoyable, more interesting, and just plain ol' exciting. For it will by then be coupled with insights flowing into your mind at all times of the day and night, perhaps quantum leaps in understanding and the ability to notice your error-based behaviors even more clearly. Notice here that it is not the behavior that needs to be undone, but the error that underlies it. The error itself is unwillingness to give whole attention to the all. You will notice that reversing this error is what the exercise is about...and that illustrates what forgiveness is, from both the dreamside and reality side perspectives, in dreamside words. But the reality thus discerned is far beyond the exercise process, beyond the images, and often enough, joyously beyond all description. - enjoy! (oh uh, notice that this IS my typical main message in other clothing....if you did the exercise, you were just looking at spirit) - al
The inner light can answer any of this world's queries and resolve any of its problems. Beyond all of these concerns, the inner light will show you who you are and your relationship to all...and bring you an understanding of love and peace that transcends ordinary human thought processes. Discover what it truly means to "love one another" and to "see peace."
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