Excerpt from a Newswire story; (Penguinistas Unite !!) ---------------------------------------------------------------- US military to deploy linux enthusiasts against hostile powers WASHINGTON D.C. In a landmark victory for the renegade OS, the United States Army has changed its recruitment and training procedures in order to make military service more attractive to Linux Users. "We're going all out to get as many of these penguin people into the ranks as we possibly can." Stated General Jack Ripper "These geeks truly are americas finest." The military became interested in geek warriors after observing multiple flame wars on the popular web site slashdot.org. "We used to think that the Army Rangers were the meanest mothers on earth, then we watched KDE and Gnome users face off." Explained Gen. Ripper. "We then had an elite team of rangers engage in the discussion. When I saw those hardened troops break down in tears from the geek onslaught, I knew we had found the perfect source of violent maladjusted zealots." Assimilating the new geek recruits required something of a change in the standard training regimen. Instead of boot camp, recruits are now put through reboot camp where they are forced to support mission critical applications on Windows98. This teaches them to hate. Recruits are then put through what is known as the 'burma road' drill - where they attempt to stay abreast of the most recent 2.3.x kernel using a 486sx/25 for compiles and a 1200 baud modem for downloads. After a few short weeks, the perfect killing machine is created. Geek troops are capable of untold attrocities in combat, including roasting prisoners over an overclocked celeron, installing MS Bob on enemy hardware and moderating down 'first posts.' "Some governments have complained that these troops don't abide by the geneva convention." Admitted Gen. Ripper "But I say that the geneva convention is a closed, proprietary protocol funded by Microsoft - screw em." ------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: Nick Kumarich/SYD-NS/AU/Marsh/MMC@MMC, [EMAIL PROTECTED]@Internet, [EMAIL PROTECTED]@Internet, [EMAIL PROTECTED]@Internet, [EMAIL PROTECTED]@Internet, [EMAIL PROTECTED]@Internet, [EMAIL PROTECTED]@Internet cc: From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: Jon Biddell/SYD-NS/AU/Marsh/MMC@MMC cc: From: Nick Kumarich/SYD-NS/AU/Marsh/MMC -- SLUG - Sydney Linux User Group Mailing List - http://slug.org.au/ More Info: http://slug.org.au/lists/listinfo/slug
