--ARIFA M. UNTORO--
PROJECT EXECUTIVE
Satrio Wicaksono Indepth Consulting
Address : Jln. Masjid Al-Anwar No. 46 Jakarta Barat 11540 Phone /Fax :
(021) 530-5050 / (021) 548-3862
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: syifa pitaka <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: 99 aja <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; alma amadea <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; eka <[EMAIL
PROTECTED]>; Nurul Winanda <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL
PROTECTED]; babol <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED];
ian bagan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; ari cia <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; [EMAIL PROTECTED];
mba tuti <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; mira
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; vita <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; kinanti putri
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; ajeng <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Friday, December 8, 2006 11:08:42 AM
Subject: Fwd: FW: Chatting dgn A'a ttg poligami
____________________________________________________________________________________
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Baca deeeeeeeeeeeeh……
-dv-
From: BESTARI Erwan
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Thursday, December 07, 2006
3:40 PM
To: y_shinta devi
Subject: FW: Chatting dgn A'a ttg
poligami
Aa_online : Assalamualaikum ?
f_rachmanto : Waalaikumsalaam ?
f_rachmanto : Aa .. lama gak online nih, ? kemana aja ?
Aa_online : Ah ? Aa mah disini aja, Kang Oji kumaha damang?
f_rachmanto : Baik A, kumaha bulan madu? :-)
Aa_online : Ah, eta deuy, eta deuy ? hehehe ?
f_rachmanto : Sori A, habis kaget nih Aa nikah lagi
Aa_online : Aduh kenapa atuh musti kaget segala.
Kan berpoligami teh diijinkan Allah.
f_rachmanto : Diijinkan lho A, bukan diwajibkan
Aa_online : Betul. Hukumnya sunnah.
f_rachmanto : Kenapa sih A, nikah lagi?
Aa_online : Aduuh ini lagi pertanyaanya ? Kumaha nya ngajawabnya?
f_rachmanto : Apa ada yg kurang dari Teteh?
Aa_online : Wah, insyaAllah bukan karena itu, Teteh itu wanita yang sangat luar
biasa.
f_rachmanto : Jadi kenapa?
Aa_online : Begini, pernikahan Aa yang kedua ini latar belakangnya ya sama saja
dengan alasan orang lain
menikah. Kang Oji dulu kenapa menikah?
f_rachmanto : Mmmm ? Karena saya dan istri saling cinta, dan pengen hidup
bareng membangun keluarga yang
sakinah?
Aa_online : Begitu juga Aa dengan pernikahan kedua ini.
f_rachmanto : Tapi Aa kan
bisa menyakiti hati Teteh.
Apalagi anak-anak Aa. Anak mana sih yang rela Ayahnya nikah lagi.
Aa_online : Yah, saya juga katakan ini bukan keputusan mudah. Saya mohon maaf
sama Teteh dan anak-anak saya,
jika keputusan ini tidak enak buat mereka. Namun saya juga berharap ini bisa
jadi hikmah bagi mereka untuk
melatih keikhlasan mereka. Dan alhamdulillah Teteh dan anak-anak dapat menerima
?
f_rachmanto : Maaf nih A, kok tega menyakiti hati orang yang kita cintai?
Aa_online : Sudah tentu saya tidak tega, tapi ?
f_rachmanto : Kalau tidak tega kenapa tetap dilaksanakan?
Aa_online : Begini, karena ada tujuan yang menurut Aa insyaAllah baik. Dan Aa
yakin keluarga Aa akan dapat
ikhlas menerima keputusan Aa.
f_rachmanto : Maaf A, apakah ini untuk kepuasan seks?
Aa_online : Semua pernikahan bukan nya selalu ada aspek seks? Namun seks tentu
bukan satu2 nya aspek dan
bukan yang paling utama.
Aa_online : Salah satu hikmah pernikahan adalah untuk mencegah manusia dari
kerusakan akibat perilaku seks
seperti binatang. Kang Oji bisa lihat perilaku saudara-saudara kita dewasa ini
yang lama-lama menganggap seks diluar nikah bukan hal terlarang. Ini harus
diluruskan ?
f_rachmanto : Dengan poligami?
f_rachmanto : Bukan kah nanti jadi nya poligami iya, zina jalan terus ?
Aa_online : Yah kalo masalah zina mah, kalo moral orangnya sudah mengizinkan
zina ya bagaimana ya? Tapi
ada pandangan juga nih. Barangkali masyarakat kita sekarang juga yang
mengkondisikan perzinahan.
f_rachmanto : Maksud Aa?
Aa_online : Yah, masyarakat sekarang kan
semakin permisif terhadap hubungan laki-laki dan perempuan,
semakin menganggap lembaga keluarga tidak penting, menganggap lembaga
pernikahan tidak penting. Sementara
namanya dorongan hubungan seks adalah sesuatu yang alamiah dan pasti terjadi.
Paham maksud Aa?
f_rachmanto : Rada ngantuk sih A, tapi paham lah.
f_rachmanto : Ya jujur aja sih, kalau sekarang kita denger sepasang laki-laki
perempuan tinggal bersama
tanpa menikah dianggap semakin biasa.
Aa_online : Padahal dulu enggak
f_rachmanto : Ya ? dulu nya itu tabu.
Aa_online : Demikian pula poligami
f_rachmanto : Halahh ? belok nya jago bener :-)
Aa_online : Hehehe bukan begitu. Ini kenyataan. Coba kita perhatikan dalam
sejarah. Orang jaman dulu
mempraktekkan poligami. Bahkan kalau tingkatannya raja atau bangsawan, istrinya
bisa ratusan ?
f_rachmanto : Dulu dianggap biasa, sekarang dianggap tabu.
Aa_online : Betul
f_rachmanto : Itukan dulu Aa
Aa_online : Betul, maksud Aa cuma ingin kasih gambaran bahwa pandangan
masyarakat bisa berubah.
f_rachmanto : Tapi Aa, kenapa kita selalu melupakan konteks "adil"
dalam ketentuan berpoligami.
f_rachmanto : Maksud saya, kalau istri pertama sampai merasa tidak ridha saja
kan sudah tidak adil.
Saya
pernah baca sih, ada beberapa istri yang dari awal ikhlas suami nya menikah
lagi, bahkan membantu
mencarikan istri baru. Tapi kan
angkanya sangat sedikit. Artinya, poligami baru bisa dilaksanakan
dalam kondisi yang hampir mustahil.
Aa_online : Tapi mungkin
f_rachmanto : Ya ?
Aa_online : Apa tidak mungkin ada istri yang ikhlas suaminya menikah lagi
karena sesuatu hal, katakan yang
sifatnya darurat?
f_rachmanto : Ya mungkin saja, tapi kecil
Aa_online : Tetap saja mungkin.
Aa_online : Dan hukum agama dimaksudkan untuk memberi jalan keluar bagi hal
yang mungkin tadi.
f_rachmanto : OK Aa, saya tidak pernah mempertanyakan legalitas berpoligami.
Tertulis dalam teks dengan
sangat jelas itu diperbolehkan.
f_rachmanto : Tapi bukankah sesuatu yang boleh belum tentu baik.
Aa_online : Misalnya ?
f_rachmanto : Misalnya saya membeli mobil mewah sementara saudara-saudara saya
ada yang putus sekolah
karena kurang biaya, terjepit hutang, atau bahkan kelaparan ..
f_rachmanto : Beli mobil pake uang saya sendiri, halal, ya boleh dong. Tapi
tidak baik saya lakukan
karena akan menyakiti hati saudara-saudara saya ?
Aa_online : Membeli mobil tadi "tidak baik" ukuran nya apa?
Dibandingkan dengan apa?
f_rachmanto : Dibanding dengan misalnya menyedekahkan uang saya tadi ?
Aa_online : Setuju. Nah, kalau dibanding dengan menggunakan uang tadi untuk
berjudi di kasino?
f_rachmanto : Ya lebih baik beli mobil.
Aa_online : Sangat relatif ya?
f_rachmanto : Hmm ? ya.
Aa_online : Jadi itu semua akan sangat subyektif, dan sangat tergantung konteks.
Tidak bisa dihakimi secara
hitam-putih begitu saja. Dari satu kasus dengan kasus lain akan berbeda.
Aa_online : Poligami itu seperti pintu darurat di sebuah pesawat. Boleh
digunakan, kalau memang keadaan
mengharuskan. Tapi juga jangan digunakan kalau pesawatnya baik-baik saja. Jadi
harus tahu ilmunya.
f_rachmanto : Hehehe ? memang pernikahan Aa sama Teteh tidak baik2 saja ....
Aa_online : Tuh kan
? kalo ini mah jadi ngegosip
f_rachmanto : Iya sori Aa, becanda. Thanks penjelasannya.
f_rachmanto : BTW ini lagi online di Daarut Tauhid A?
Aa_online : Daarut Tauhid?
f_rachmanto : Lho? Ini Aa Gym kan ?
Aa_online : Aduh Ji! Ini saya mah Aa Gino, temen kerja kamu dulu ?
f_rachmanto : Astaghafirullah ? kirain dari tadi tuh Aa Gym ?
(fr)
Serius banget bacanya..... ..he..... he......he. ....
Have a nice day guys........ .....
Wassalam,
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