September 24, 2003
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Anna Kournikova, the 22-year-old Russian-born tennis player
who has never won a tour tournament, introduced a new sports
bra in the U.S. last week. The athlete, who's more popular
for her looks than her game, will model the sports bra
with the tagline: "Only the ball should bounce."
Since here at TopFive we sit around thinking about
Anna all day anyway, we thought we might as well pitch
in and give her some other taglines to consider....
The Top 15 Alternate Taglines for
Anna Kournikova's New Sports Bra
15> Losing Never Looked So Great!
14> Endorsed by the Entire Russian Olympic Hockey Team
13> Hey, Guys -- Buy My Bra and I'll Be Left Without One!
12> Love 38s!
11> Soon to Be Sold to Some Pudgy, Sweaty Pervert on eBay
10> Hold Up *Your* Sagging Career
9> A Lovely Case for the Only Trophies *You'll* Ever Have
to Show Off
8> As Close as You're Ever Going to Get to My Rack, Dorkboy
7> Crap. If This Thing Works, I Got Nothin' Left
6> Because Two Bouncers Might Show You the Door
5> Just Tell the Sales Clerk It's for Your Girlfriend, You
Little Perv
4> Support Can Be Sexy -- Just Ask Your Boyfriend, Who's
Masturbating to My Catalogue Right Now
3> Available in Small, Medium and Serena
2> Anna 1, Anna 2...
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Alternate Tagline
for Anna Kournikova's New Sports Bra...
1> Supporting the Troops on the Russian Front
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