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yeah!! YEAH! STUPID LIBERAL MEDIA! hehee
You need to stop accepting responsibility for your own life. Everything is actually the fault of that darned liberal media, you know. You'd be nearly perfect, or at least much thinner, if it wasn't for them.
-------Original Message-------
Date: Wednesday, September 24, 2003 04:41:39 AM
Subject: [Sndbox] Daily Humorscope for Wednesday, September 24, 2003
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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind. |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Excellent day to be expansive and benevolent. It will make people worry.
You will meet someone who you haven't seen in a long time, and will barely recognize them. At least not without the spiked collar and the whip.
You need to stop accepting responsibility for your own life. Everything is actually the fault of that darned liberal media, you know. You'd be nearly perfect, or at least much thinner, if it wasn't for them.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Uh oh. Mars is out of alignment, again. Not a good day to hang out with stupid, violent, heavily-armed ex-convicts. Save that for tomorrow.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Money will come from an unexpected source. If you put it in a mesh bag and run it throught the washer, you'll get most of the smell out.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
People around you are starting to look a bit complacent. Good day to adopt a haunted _expression_ and carry a large ball of aluminum foil.
A very pale young woman weilding a broadsword will approach you today to ask if you'd like your carnations pruned. Be nice and say yes. Reincarnation is tough on some people.
You will become unwittingly embroiled in a turf war between rival Chinese restaurants, today, as you step off the sidewalk to avoid a person wearing an extremely large hat. Before the day is over, you'll find yourself angrily hurling potstickers at people you've never met.
You will realize, today, that there's more than just good manners to the statement: "never yodel with your mouth full."
Extremely poor day to use obscure euphemisms or medical metaphors. In particular, avoid "kajoobies" or "shvontz" like the plague.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will discover a large deposit of gold, when you're out on a stroll. Unfortunately, wealth will not make you happy. |
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