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Very true lmao!
Aliens will land in Los Angeles today. Unfortunately, nobody will be able to tell.
-------Original Message-------
Date: Thursday, September 25, 2003 04:06:56 AM
Subject: [Sndbox] Daily Humorscope for Thursday, September 25, 2003
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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Thursday, September 25, 2003
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will make new friends, one of whom will eventually borrow a large sum of money from you, prior to skipping town. Try to avoid fatty foods.
Good day to get yourself one of those aromatherapy candles that you see in gift stores. Try "Love" or "Inspiration" for example. (Avoid "Death" or "Decay.")
A big spider will be waiting for you in the dark, chuckling its evil spider chuckle, and rubbing it's hairy legs together in a chitinously evil way. Fortunately for you, someone else will come by before you, and will squish it without a second thought.
Aliens will land in Los Angeles today. Unfortunately, nobody will be able to tell.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You've been getting tired of the same old "look", day after day. Maybe you should get a tattoo? I'll bet people with tattoos never get tired of 'em!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will become trapped in the sofa, again. People will point and laugh.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You will have a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup for lunch, and will receive a phone call from a man named "Sven", but who tells you his name is something else. Don't believe him for a second. He will be very impressed that you knew his actual name.
You will discover a horror almost beyone imagining today -- your home is inhabited by the ghost of an insurance salesman. Who you gonna call?
Excellent day to pretend to have various infirmities. Pretending to have a hunchback is my personal favorite, and is often favorably combined with a drooling problem.
Today you'll go buy a white jacket, and start working towards your dream: the resurgence of Disco! And you'll be successful, too! Yes, over the course of your life, you'll get literally several people interested.
You will go on a potato binge today. Baked, fried, scalloped, stuffed, mashed, whipped, and hash-browned. Just stay away from the tater tots, for your own good.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will narrowly avoid a collision on the sidewalk today, as a small giggling person runs past you, being hotly pursued by a weeping incoherent person waving a ham sandwich. Aside from that, a pretty typical day. |
[>>Charles<<]
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