October 6, 2003
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
I received the very interesting e-mail message you see
below from someone who had found our October, 2001 list of
"The Top 16 Bizarre Nostradamus Predictions" on our website.
( That list is here: http://www.topfive.com/arcs/t5100101.shtml )
Here's the message:
~~==++==~~
After visiting a webpage concerning Nostradamus' Predictions, I must say
that I am outraged about the ignorant comments that were made after each one
of his predictions. I'm not sure if I am contacting the right person about
this, but this needs to be said. I do not understand how a group of people
whom were NOT alive whenever these predications came along can sit there and
judge them in such a tasteless manner. This website is nothing but a link of
ignorance. I mean, what persuades people like this to write shit that has
nothing to do with what is originally supposed to be talked about?!?! Mariah
Carrey??? I'm mean come on..then someone goes to the great lengths of making
"fun" of someone's name. How old are the people running this website??
Especially the fact that mixing today's "technology" in with famous
predictions made centuries ago..such as the television!
This is absolutely absurd. Maybe you haven't even bothered to read over the
shit that is commented on the page.
"My God, who let that Mariah chick sing?"
"Bush's wayward kid will win the American presidency in 2000. Is that clear
enough for you morons?"
"Until the flabby naked dude wins a cool million."
"Who would have thought? *WE* were the the weakest link. Goodbye. "
"200 channels, yet nothing good on the tube! "
"Will make pledge to lay down Spears. "
"Then retired, he shall discount travel fares And fool no one with a bad
hairpiece"
"His companion? A chimp named Bubbles."
"All eyes turn for an answer to Jordan of Nike. "
"(Three if you count Kate Winslet naked.)"
"Beware the ones with demonic names: Adam, Pauly and Carrot Top."
"I shall finally lose the nickname, "Nostra-dumbass." "
I mean what in the hell is wrong with the people who write this?! Do they
have nothing else better to do than sit there and critize other people?
Especially people that have NOTHING to do with ANY of Nostradamus'
predictions? Honestly, it is ignorant people like yourselves that make the
internet just plain SUCK. Maybe you should think about getting a life and
stop being so damn childish about certain parts of history.
Stephanie S.
Houston, Texas
~~==++==~~
In order to prove to Stephanie that we here at TopFive
are *not* ignorant, we decided to respond in verse....
The Top 14 Poems About This Fan Letter
14> You may think us juvenile,
Twisted, crass and cruel.
But what the hell did you expect
From grads of Humor School?
13> Roses are red
Violets are blue.
Rocks may be dumb
But they're smarter than you.
12> Thanks for your letter, dear Stephanie.
If I could hear your voice, I'm sure it would deafen me.
Hold your comments -- I know my pentameter is all out of whack
But unlike you, at least I don't smoke crack.
11> Dear reader, we apologize for having upset you.
Enclosed you'll find a coupon so that you can buy a clue.
10> I write these angry e-mails --
You can see I'm not a fan.
My psychiatrist said that I'll relax
As soon as I find a man.
9> We thought our list would please some folks,
But Stephanie clearly wasn't.
Looks like we ruffled feathers on
Carrot Top's first cousin.
8> Who is this a-hole's ISP?
TopFive will never tell --
Except to point out "a-hole"
Has an "A", an "O" and "L."
7> "A woman of Styles will appear, I foresee
Who mistakes my absurdness for real history.
The whimsy of others, to her, will lack sense
For her mind will resemble my prophecies: dense."
6> Listen my children, and you shall hear
Of Stephanie S.'s metaphorical rear.
When she calls others asses, they smile with chagrin
With her head wedged thereup, she's a big pain therein.
5> Stephanie, we joke for fun,
It's not like we teach French.
So just sit back and try to laugh --
Your sphincter might unclench.
4> We got a letter from Ms. S.
That didn't read correct-to-me.
In fact, I'd say that probably,
She's had a humor-rectomy.
3> Stephanie S. thought our list was a mess,
And sent us a letter, irate.
Must make them sick, those Dixie Chicks,
To have Stephanie from their state.
2> Thank you for your thoughtful note
Your thoughts are long and deep.
I wish that I could comment more,
But alas, I'm fast asleep.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Poem About This Fan Letter...
1> Our jokes offended Steph so much
She felt compelled to quote 'em.
Well, if her rage came from the heart,
She's nuttier than a scrotum.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
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