Title: The Daily Humorscope
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Charles Mims's Personal Humorscope
for Sunday, October 12, 2003
"You can fool too many of the people too much of the time." -- James
Thurber |
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
It's time to get a new perspective on your job. Try to
think of work as a great big funhouse. Just without the fun.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will discover that you can raise one eyebrow by
itself, but not the other. This will aggravate you, and you'll spend
the majority of the day in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to
correct the situation.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Today is a good day to exercise that special magic you
have, of making people smile. Try telling everyone "smile when you say
that, buster", for example.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You've about had it with one particular fool in your life.
Have you considered investing in a tranquilizer gun? Mine comes in
very handy, especially at work.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Something is about to become overly intimate with you.
Intimacy can be good. Just not with fungus.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Oh boy! Today you will find some cool shoes that you'd
forgotten all about, in the back of your closet. Oddly, they no longer
fit, and are at least 3 sizes too large. This may worry you.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You'll go out to dinner with a new person, soon. Remember
the advice of my old Uncle Stonebender, though: "It's fine if someone
eats like a bird, as long as they don't have kids."
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will become embroiled in a serious dispute about food.
Feelings will be hurt. Bygones will eventually be bygones, but not
until you ease off on the Tabasco.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will lurk, today. There's nothing that wrong with
lurking, after all, and it's occasionally somewhat refreshing. In
fact, you'll soon begin work on How To Lurk, a best-selling
self-help book on the topic.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Your children will return, but they'll be unnaturally
quiet and good-natured. Eventually, you'll discover how the switch was
made.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
While looking through comparative salary figures, who will
discover that the job of "Villiage Idiot", in many metropolitan areas,
pays better than that of the mayor. Don't even consider a career
change, though -- it's a lot harder that it sounds.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Good day to curl up with a good book. Later, you will
build a fort out of your furniture and some sheets, and shoot rubber
bands at people. |
The Daily Humorscope
Personal Humorscope
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